Push
by Frazi
Summary: Rangiku Matsumoto returns after ten years to find things have changed.
1. Prologue

**PUSH  
**_A Bleach Fanfic  
_1/5/10  
**Prologue**  
Summary: Rangiku Matsumoto returns after ten years to find things have changed.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot. The song lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan.

* * *

_"PUSH"  
Song by Sarah Mclachlan_

_Every time I look at you the world just melts away  
__All my troubles all my fears dissolve in your affections  
__You've seen me at my weakest but you take me as I am  
__And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land_

_You stay the course you hold the line you keep it all together  
__You're the one true thing I know I can believe in  
__You're all the things that I desire, you save me, you complete me  
__You're the one true thing I know I can believe_

_I get mad so easy but you give me room to breathe  
__No matter what I say or do 'cause you're to good to fight about it  
__Even when I have to push just to see how far you'll go  
__You won't stoop down to battle but you never turn to go_

_Your love is just the antidote when nothing else will cure me  
__There are times I can't decide when I can't tell up from down  
__You make me feel less crazy when otherwise I'd drown  
__But you pick me up and brush me off and tell me I'm OK  
__Sometimes that's just what we need to get us through the day_

***_  
_  
The winter took its toll on a lot of people. Even Rangiku Matsumoto. But more than the horrors of war, Gin's death hit her the hardest. She had known he would have to die. She had always known she'd have to face him. She knew it wouldn't be easy. But she hadn't counted for the gut wrenching aching pain as he breathed out her name with his last breath.

She'd done the right thing. She'd stuck by her purpose. Her promise. Her captain.

The shinugami understood, but the woman didn't. The young girl didn't. She didn't get how a childhood friend had to die. A man she had cared deeply for – was gone.

When she went to speak to her Captain, he had nodded. Only asking how much time she needed. But she'd had no answer or him. Something insider her had fallen apart and Rangiku felt she needed to find herself. Someone who wasn't someone's childhood friend. Someone's lieutenant. Someone's lover. A drinking buddy.

She wanted to find Rangiku.

She'd left with promises to return as soon as she found the real Rangiku. Not Gin's lover. Gin's friend. Toushiro's lieutenant. Captain Kyouraku's drinking buddy. One of the boys.

So far she hadn't found anything so she hadn't returned. And it had been ten years. Ten years of searching until the knock came on her door at 2 a.m. while she'd been trying to sleep unsuccessfully.

The knock was superfluous.

She'd felt the spiritual pressure before they'd approached her door.

Padding down to the living room, Haineko clutched in one hand Rangiku rose up on tiptoes to peek through her peephole. It was more to reaffirm what she already know would greet her on the other side.

Shunsui Kyouraku's grin exploded in a distorted glow of teeth.

With a sigh, Rangiku unbolted her door and swung it open with a weary smile. "So you boys always make house calls at wee hours of the morning?"

The pink clad Captain lifted his bare wrist with a mock gasp. "Wow! I didn't think to consult my ever present watch before coming to see an old friend."

The silver haired man beside him offered an apologetic chuckle. "Sorry Rangiku. We didn't think you'd mind."

This time she couldn't hold the genuine smile from spreading across her face. "Are you coming in or will Captain Kyouraku continue to make bad jokes in my doorway?" She swept her hand towards the interior of her little apartment.

The two men exchanged a guarded glance between them.

Rangiku smirked. "I have Sake."

Joushiro Ukitake broke into a wide grin, his eyes twinkling with mirth like she remembered. "How can we refuse such a generous offer?"

"Of course you can't," she snickered and let the two domineering figures through her front door.

_**To be Continued…**_


	2. Chapter 1

**PUSH  
**_A Bleach Fanfic  
_1/5/10  
**Chapter 1**  
Summary: Rangiku Matsumoto returns after ten years to find things have changed.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot. The song lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan.

***

Rangiku would have been good and drunk.

But there was an edge to the two men seated in her living room. She fortified herself with the warm sake then lifted her ice blue eyes to the two men. "So why are you here besides to finish my stash of sake?"

"And what great sake it is," Ukitake raised an eyebrow, gaze flickering to his companion again.

Shunsui grinned charmingly over the brim of his cup and Rangiku braced for the tease that was in his warm brown eyes. "Can't we come see an old friend?"

Sliding sideways on the floor, she propped her head into her hand and grinned at them. "I haven't seen anyone from the soul society in nearly a decade and you pick today to come see me."

"Come now Rangiku," Ukitake reprimanded gently, "we meant to give you space."

The titan haired beauty shook her head with a wince. "I know Captain Ukitake. I know you were taking care of my own wishes." She sighed and played with the end of a strawberry blonde curl. "I never meant to stay away. It was supposed to be a vacation."

"Kinda long for a vacation," Shunshui chuckled and downed his cup before reaching for the bottle again.

Joushiro reached out and took the cup from his friend and narrowed his eyes with a warning.

All the red flags in Rangiku's head started to wave. If Shunsui was being kept from drinking it had to be serious. She rolled back to her previously sitting position, her ice blue eyes alert. "What's happened?"

Their silence was foreboding.

Finally Captain Ukitake took a deep breath. "We never wanted to trouble you. In fact everyone realized and understood you needed some time off." He paused as if choosing his words carefully. "A lot has changed since you've been gone."

"It's Captain Hitsugaya."

Even if Shunsui hadn't muttered a curse under his breath, she would have known her aim was spot on.

"What's happened to him?"

When neither man answered, Rangiku lurched forward and her caught Joushiro's sleeve her eyes vehement. "Tell me, please!"

"It's hard for me to say he's alright. He's unhurt, but very troubled."

Frowning, unsure of what he was implying in his cautious approach, she fell back onto her cushion. "Troubled?"

"Rangiku, once you left, Toushiro was assigned a new lieutenant."

"I expected as much," she put in impatiently.

"Yes well, Head Captain Yamamoto thought it might do him and her some good to work together."

Her heart sank.

Shunsui spoke gently. "Lieutenant Hinamori was reassigned as the lieutenant for Squad 10. Old man Yamamoto thought it might help her to work with her childhood friend. He hoped to kill two birds with one stone."

The woman stared at them. She couldn't believe what they were saying. "She became well enough to be reassigned?"

"She had been released from Squad Four. Captain Unohana gave her a clean bill of health." Ukitake took a deep breath. "But some wounds go deeper, I'm afraid."

"Captain Ukitake, would it kill you give me a straight answer?"

The silver haired man smiled sadly. "Toushiro got engaged to Momo a while ago."

Like the ground had been yanked from under her, Rangiku Matsumoto stared at the two men sitting across her coffee table. "Engaged!?"

The two men flinched at the shriek.

"He's barely three feet tall and you're going to let him get MARRIED!?" Rangiku came to her feet like a hurricane. For a moment Joushiro was worried she'd reach for her zanpaktou.

Shunsui on the other hand, threw back his head and burst out laughing. "Woman! It's been ten years!" His brown eyes gleamed with naked humor. "Did you think he'd be three feet tall forever?"

Teetering on the edge of being hysterical, Rangiku paused. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Rangiku, Toushiro Hitsugaya isn't three feet tall anymore. He hit a growth spurt." Shunsui, grinned heinously; thoroughly enjoying the imbalanced woman's antics. "He's taller than me."

The woman hit the cushions with a resounding thump, her mouth agape, eyes unfocused as her brain slowly tried to wrap around the novel new notion. Of course, Toushiro Hitsugaya wasn't going to be a child for the rest of his life. Of course he would have to grow up. But dammit, did he have to grow up while she was gone? Shaking her head from the downward spiral of her indignant thoughts, she lifted her blue eyes to the men. "But if he's all big now and Momo's all better; I don't understand what the problem is?" She knew her Captain had a soft spot for Aizen the Bastard's lieutenant. But married!? Tall or not, he was still a kid. Right?

Ukitake took a deep breath. "Momo's not all better, I'm afraid. They quarrel a lot, among other things. Very little gets done. Toushiro's my friend. He won't say it, but he's trapped in his sense of honor and his sense of responsibility. This marriage won't solve anything." His eyes flickered with near palpable pain for his friend. "It'll poison him."

Rangiku lifted a hand to her mouth, her pretty blue eyes glimmering with horror.

"We've tried everything Rangiku," Joushiro Ukitake sighed.

"She's killing him."

"Shunsui!"

"Well, she is!" The brazen Captain scowled, his arms crossed defensively across his wide chest. "Intentionally or not, she'd smothering him. The damned man is made of ice now. He's grown colder than Hyorinamaru! No one can get through to him." His gaze hardened on the dazed woman before him. "You HAVE to come back. For whatever it's worth; you owe it to him to at least save him from himself," he spat disdainfully. She knew where his anger was directed.

"But what can I do?" Rangiku imperceptibly. Go back. How much had changed? How could she drop everything and return? What would be the point of being away for so long if she hadn't accomplished her goal. What of her Captain? What of his looming marriage?

"Dammit Rangiku, at least when he was complaining about you, he was didn't look so depressed."

"Hey!" Her icy blue eyes snapped up to Captain Kyouraku's who only smirked at finally getting her attention.

"Rangiku," Joushiro met her eyes imploringly. "Toushiro needs his friend right now. He stood by you when you left the Seireitei. Now I request you honor your friendship and help him. Before it's too late."

"Oh Joushiro," the woman sighed. "You need not request. There was no doubt in my mind that I would return. I'm just concerned about how he will react. What about Momo? She's his lieutenant now."

"She's merely his fiancée."

"Merely?!"

Kyouraku rolled his eyes at his misfired retort. "Whatever. The point is the kid is brooding us all to death. Everyone's worried sick. Even the old man's been grumbling about it."

A gentle hand landed on Rangiku's and she looked up at Ukitake. "What's more frightening Rangiku? Facing him, or letting him face his fears alone?"

Joushiro Ukitake was a frighteningly conniving man. He knew exactly what to say.

Rangiku knew the only thing that mattered to her.

She always had Captain Hitsugaya's back.

Withdrawing her hand, she slowly rose to her feet. "Give me a few minutes to pack."

"Thank you."

Her eyes slid down to his. "No thanks are necessary Captain Ukitake. The alternative is unthinkable."

"Mind if I finish the Sake?" Shunsui reached for his discarded cup again, but Rangiku had already disappeared into her room.

Joushiro let out a deep breath, as if he'd been holding it. "You better be right about this my friend."

Shunsui's grin was perfectly tranquil. "Trust me Joushiro, if she can't do this, no one can."

***

_**To be Continued…**_


	3. Chapter 2

**PUSH  
**_A Bleach Fanfic  
_1/5/10  
**Chapter 2**  
Summary: Rangiku Matsumoto returns after ten years to find things have changed.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot. The song lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan.

***

Her Captain had always been a brooder. She could remember all the grumbling under his breath. The frown. The bulging eyes when she was hugging him. The ringing of her name when she fell asleep without finishing her paperwork. Rangiku remembered, the soul in his teal eyes, had always been old. A part of her ached that she'd missed his growing up. She'd always felt protective of her little Captain. Now that he wasn't so little anymore, she wondered if he even needed her. But more than that she wondered if he blamed her for abandoning him.

Guilt chased regret inside the woman as she walked between the easily chatting Captains. They escorted her into the Seireitei, flanking her from both sides. Familiar sights and smells bombarded Rangiku from all sides, twisting something deep inside her. For a breath here and there she felt as if she'd never left. But then someone would recognize her and the whispers would start.

Shunsui's hand wrapped around hers and she realized that she'd been trembling. "Relax," he whispered softly against her ear. "You're just coming home."

She wished that were how it felt. "I feel like the runaway coming home."

"Were you really running away?" Joushiro Ukitake raised a perceptive eyebrow, his mouth caught into his usual knowing smile.

"Maybe," she admitted silently.

Before Joushiro could reply, a husky old, but firm voice interrupted them.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto?"

Startled the woman glanced up to see the three men standing before her. Only on occasion had she seen the Head Captain out of the council room. It usually followed dire situations. His sudden presence now threw Rangiku's resolve out of the proverbial window. Bowing, she hoped to hide the shock and panic she was sure would be visible in her eyes.

"I am glad to see you have returned."

Gathering her composure Rangiku offered him her best stoic façade, but she was afraid the old man could see into her soul. "I am sorry I couldn't come sooner."

"Yes," the wrinkled face smiled, "your extended stay seemed to be extensive."

She had the decency to flush in embarrassment.

"I hope you found what you were looking for Lieutenant Matsumoto."

Would it be prudent to lie, she wondered? "I'm afraid not Head Captain."

"That's unfortunate. Perhaps you were looking in the wrong place." Ice blue eyes snapped up to his in alarm, but the long bearded man continued speaking. "However, it was of utmost importance you return. Captain Ukitake and Captain Kyouraku believe that you are the only one who might rescue our wayward Captain."

"I will do my best Head Captain Yamamoto, but if I may ask. In what capacity have I been recalled?"

"You are one of the Lieutenants of the 13 Court Guard Squads. Squad 10 has suffered much since your leave of absence. It is painfully oblivious how important you are to them Lieutenant Matsumoto. You are to return to your duties immediately."

Caught between elation and dread, Rangiku could only gape at the most important man in the Seireitei and the words that had been spoken as if they were the most natural in the given circumstance. Yamamoto nodded as if satisfied with her silence and turned to leave.

"Head Captain!"

The dark eyes turned to her over his shoulder.

Swallowing, Rangiku offered him an apologetic bow. "My apologies Head Captain. But what about the present Squad 10 lieutenant?"

"She was relieved of her duties after she engaged Captain Hitsugaya in a public duel."

"Again!?" What the hell was wrong with that woman? Did she constantly have to challenge her Captain's authority?

"Hmmm," the disapproval was clear in his old face. "I wonder if she will ever be free of Aizen." With a sad shake of his head, he turned and walked away.

Rangiku resisted the urge to frump down on the floor because her legs were suddenly too weak to hold her weight.

Momo had attacked Toushiro again? For Aizen?

"Easy Lieutenant Matsumoto," Shunsui whispered gently, a hand on her shoulder. "Sometimes, it's better to stop running."

***

They hadn't even reached the vicinity of Squad 10 when he two shinugami came tearing towards them. They took one look at Lieutenant Matsumoto in her uniform and nearly fell to her feet. With a shriek, the woman jumped back to avoid being groveled on. Amidst the mumbles of how happy they were to see her and how their captain hadn't been the same since she left, Rangiku heard that her captain had boarded himself in the training room and the entire squad was frozen over under a thick layer of ice.

Hyourinmaru was obviously reacting to their captain's temper tantrum. While her men continued to weep and sob in relief, she turned and raised an eyebrow at the smiling captains behind her. "Will you tell me exactly, in small words, what happened?"

Shunsui was only happy to oblige her request. "Momo went crackers when they removed Aizen's name from the Captain's list. Hitsugaya was just an easy target."

Rangiku winced. Leave it to their resident Casanova to be as blunt as nails. Maybe she should have let him use longer words. Glancing down at the two simpering men at her feet, the woman sighed. "Let's go."

It didn't take a genius to know that the usually composed Captain Toushiro Hitsugaya had lost his cool. No pun intended. Their usual courtyard glistened in the sunlight like crystals; the people were skidding and slipping across the slick ground like amateur skaters in an ice rink. Shrieks could be heard of men and women rushing out of their rooms as the ice slowly began to spread, spiking up and around in random patterns.

Rangiku sighed as a new recruit stood hugging one of the grown ice spikes whimpering as her feet continued to look for purchase on the slippery ground. "Where is he?"

"Training room, Lieutenant Matsumoto."

It had been a while, and her blade squealed with the prospect of finally being put to use. Unsheathing her zanpaktou she didn't bother with her squad's protests as she spoke clearly, firmly. "Growl, Haineko."

The blade disappeared in a mist of ash that swirled away from her defiantly, happy to be free again, before Rangiku's hand tightened on her reins. The mist seemed to hiss before it finally yielded to its master and cut a path through the ice straight into the main building. "Stay here," she commanded the cowering men behind her and strode into the corridors that lead to the training room where her captain had boarded himself.

The gray mist was floating outside the sliding doors, nearly vibrating with energy. Rangiku could almost taste her excitement of uniting and possibly clashing against an opponent and considering it was Hyourinmaru, her wayward zanpaktou was positively exultant. Rangiku narrowed her eyes purposefully at her spirit and commanded her to only open the door.

The ash dissipated in a 'humph' before the ice shattered around the sliding door and it slid open with a snap.

The scene beyond the threshold made the woman gasp.

It she hadn't known previously, she would still have recognized the man. Standing nearly six feet tall, snow white shock of hair on his head still spiking as it did, Captain Toushiro Hitsugaya's was tensed for a fight. Even from behind, she could sense his distress in the tightened fists he held beside him. Around him coiled the ice dragon, his red eyes watching him with growing concern. The white captain's coat was lying on a frozen bench; his sword held in one fist. He seemed to be speaking to Hyourinmaru. Arguing.

For a moment, Rangiku hesitated. She didn't know if she should intrude. But Haineko decided for her as usual. The mist sang as it slid through the air and coiled around the ice dragon like a lover's embrace.

Immediately the shoulders tensed.

The dragon unwrapped itself from around his master's body and for just a breath Rangiku thought he returned her ash cat's caress, but her mind was on other more immediate problems.

Captain Toushiro Hitsugaya was turning around and she got her first good look at the grown man.

He'd always been supple muscle and fine bones stretched under flawless skin. But the years had been kind to him. Gone were the soft curves of his childhood, the rounding nose, the gentle slopes of his jaw. Toushiro Hitsugaya was now everything about hard angles and sharp lines. Like the ice that he commanded, his jaw had defined itself, his chin firming assertively, the lines elongating and honing themselves into his unbending will and certainty. The man that stood before her now was chiseled like the ice sculptures she remembered from human weddings. But those eyes.

Rangiku swallowed.

Those aquamarine eyes were exactly as she remembered and they were wide with shock and brimming with rage. "Matsumoto?"

She decided to choose her words carefully. "Sheath Hyourinmaru Captain. There are no enemies here."

He jerked as if her words had physically struck him. "I don't like having my privacy invaded." His voice had deepened and sadly – hardened. The cold disregard that her little captain had pretended to possess was now glaring at her in its reality. "Or have you forgotten Rangiku Matsumoto?"

"No," she spoke sadly. "I have not forgotten. But Hyourinmaru's frozen most of our squad's buildings and the surrounding areas. I'm afraid Captain Kuchki's going to come down with his Senbonzakura if you wilt his cherry blossoms."

"Our squad's buildings?" He picked from her words heinously, and then he seemed to realize that she was standing in full uniform, her every present pink scarf draped across her shoulders. "I see," he scoffed. "You're her replacement." He shook his head with a dry chuckle. It cut over her skin like claws. "One of these days I'd like to choose my own Lieutenant."

It was meant to hurt her, she knew. But Rangiku Matsumoto wasn't an impetuous little girl to take his words seriously just yet. He was hurting and she knew him well despite his changes. "I don't believe you have many candidates willing to work with you. Not the way you've been bringing the place down around their ears."

The truth seemed only to harden him. Turning away from her, he spoke coldly. "Go away, Matsumoto."

"I'm afraid, I'm here to stay."

"For how long this time," he shot venomously over his shoulder.

"For as long as you want me."

Glancing back at her, those startling aqua eyes narrowed. "Then you can leave now."

Despite her previous promises that she would be cool and calm, Rangiku couldn't help glare at him. "Oh will you stop your male posturing! I thought you of all men would be above it." Crossing her arms, she purposefully avoided the disbelief in his face as he once against turned to face her. She was going to have her say. "I have no idea how your gender learns avoidance so well. Tell me Captain, do they take you aside during training while the women are not looking and teach you how to be an effective jerk?"

A perfect snow-white eyebrow arched. "You're not really winning any brownie points here, woman."

"Hmph," the woman in question rolled her eyes. "Who cares, brownies go straight to the hips anyway."

For just a moment, the man seemed off balanced by her quip, but then he let out a frustrated breath and ran a hand through his unruly spikes. "What can I do to get rid of you?"

Her smile was sickly sweet. On purpose. "Sheath your sword and come eat with me?"

His glare was answer enough. No way in hell.

With a defeated sigh, Matsumoto gripped Haineko's hilt and called her enamored zanpaktou spirit back towards her. "I guess if you're not coming out, I'm just going to have to come in."

The gaze darkened into an indigo warning. "You do not want to do this Matsumoto."

"This is Squad 10's training room, right?" Stepping inside, she carefully maneuvered over the frozen ground, the ash cutting through it to make a path for her. "I'm a little rusty after 10 years of slacking off - I need some practice. And since you're unwilling to vacate it," she grinned at him, "you'll just have to break me in."

The ice dragon coiled back beside his master as Captain Hitsugaya glowered at his Lieutenant's challenge. "Don't blame me if I break you Matsumoto. You don't know me anymore. Trust me."

She smirked. "Trust me. I will relish getting reacquainted with my adorable little Captain."

"I'm not little."

"Ahh, but you are adorable."

His jaw hardening, hand tightened on the hilt of his sword. "Matsumoto?"

"Yes my Captain?"

"Shut up and fight."

And then Rangiku had no time for quips.

She was getting her ass handed to her in a sling. It was bad enough her stamina was not what it used to be, but it was worse that his had improved. Toushiro Hitsugaya had always been formidable, but now he was deadly.

Training with him countless years didn't prepare her for the shock of his new and heightened spiritual pressure. It saddened her that for a man who was so strong on the outside, his insides were still soft enough to be injured by a mere slip of a girl and her accusations. Ten years ago, he never would have struck hard enough to throw her into the wall. Ten years ago, his sword wouldn't have drawn blood.

And then it hit her like a brick to the head.

He was trying to scare her away.

The realization was so sudden and simple that Rangiku jumped away from him and gaped at him like an idiot.

"Damn you Matsumoto, don't you dare let your guard down with me!"

Panting, exhausted and stunned, she stared as the dragon rose high about her captain's head.

Maybe he thought she'd block him again as she had been before, maybe he meant to make a point. But when the attack descended for her, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

Toushiro noticed a second too late that she'd not only let her guard down, she'd let him strike her down.

The ice encased her in a solid block, her visage perfectly preserved in a knowing little smile as Haineko screeched around him before reforming into the blade and landed at his feet.

He stared at the woman suspended in time and for a moment, he forgot that she needed to breathe.

"Scatter, Senbonzakura."

It was only when the ice shattered around her and her smile faded that Toushiro Hitsugaya realized what he'd done. In the instant it took for her eyes to slide shut, he was before her, catching her frigid form in his arms as she fell. Horror-struck he stared down into her pale face.

From the doorway, Byakuya walked further into the frozen training room. Behind him, Shunsui and Ukitake were gaping in shock at the scene before them. He'd reacted on instinct when he'd seen the younger captain's immobile shock.

His shadow fell over the prone woman as she lay in Toushiro's arms.

The aquamarine eyes lifted to him with anguished pain and Byakuya stilled the reprimand he'd been about to make. He merely held the gaze and spoke clearly. "Take your lieutenant to the infirmary now, Captain Toushiro Hitsugaya."

Snapping out of his daze, the snowy Captain lifted her into his arms and in a flash of frenzied cursing, he was gone.

Toushiro gathered her close to him as he used shunpo towards Squad 4's hospital. For the first time, Toushiro Hitsugaya forgot where Hyourinmaru was. He didn't remember his blade lay silently with hers back in the training room. Only she mattered.

**To be Continued…**


	4. Chapter 3

**PUSH  
**_A Bleach Fanfic  
_8/6/10  
**Chapter 3  
**Summary: Captain Hitsugaya's finally about to have a converstation with his Lieutenant. How can anything be simple with these two?  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot. The song lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan.  
Author's Squawk: Thanks to everyone who gave me encourangement. It only makes me wana write more ;) So I have to thank you twice as much. Hope this is beter than my last chapter. Cheers and loves!

***

"She is okay."

He didn't speak.

The woman sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder before trying again. "Captain Hitsugaya, she's safe."

"How can she be safe Captain Unohana? I meant to kill her."

"I don't believe that Toushiro."

"Believe it," the aqua eyes lifted with saddened conviction. "For just a moment all I really wanted to do was make her bleed."

The Squad 4 Captain didn't flinch under the harsh confession. "You were angry that she left you, its natural."

Looking back down at the silent woman he couldn't remember ever being this grateful for anything. He couldn't remember the last time he'd prayed. "As natural as it was for Momo?"

This time Retsu Unohana couldn't help the twinge. "You are not Lieutenant Hinamori."

"No, I know who I am." And then the tension seemed to seep out of him. Falling into the chair beside Rangiku's bed his head dropped into his hands. "I almost killed her."

"But she's alive."

"No thanks to me."

Her hand squeezed his shoulder. "Please Toushiro. Do not do this to yourself. She didn't return to give you more guilt."

"Why did she come back!?" He came out of the chair with a snarl, his eyes flashing with bewilderment and fury. "Why did she have to come back now!?"

"Because now is when you need her the most."

"I needed her two years ago as well!"

"I don't have the answers you want Toushiro, but she does." Reaching out she touched his cheek with a soft reassuring smile. "Wait for her."

It was pointless, he told himself, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to leave her side.

And so he waited.

***

"How'd I get here?"

Startled out of the unending spiral of his apprehension, Toushiro's head snapped up at the sound of her crusty question. Heavy lidded ice blue eyes gazed at him. Swimming in their depths, he sat there like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming freight train. He'd been rehearsing this speech for hours and now he remembered nothing. "I carried you," he answered softly, afraid she might read too much into his being there. But how could he have left?

"Oh that's nice…" Rangiku Matsumoto was familiar with waking up in the infirmary. The how was usually what eluded her. At least this time she didn't fall drunk down a flight of stairs. "That's….WHAT!" Eyes snapping open, she nearly came out of the bed. "You carried me!?"

Frowning at her misplaced outburst, he came to his feet and walked closer to her bed. He was afraid she'd tangle herself in the sheets and strangle herself to death. Even though it had been years, nothing had changed in this woman. It only heightened his realization that he was the one who had changed. "You were out cold."

"You carried me! Oh no!" Falling back, he stared in shock as the capricious woman threw an arm over her eyes and moaned. "I missed it! No!"

"Uh…Matsumoto?"

Her hands snapping forward he was barely in time to brace his hands beside her hips on the hospital bed as she grabbed the collar of his uniform. "Do you KNOW how long I've waited for you to carry me and I missed it!"

Speechlessly he stared at her for a moment. It was as frightening as always, how this woman could go off tangents and completely throw him off. "You were unconscious."

"HOW could I be unconscious?!"

Exasperated, he grasped her wrists, hoping to dislodge her grip but the woman was gazing up at him with tear-jerking sadness. "I was getting to that."

"Again!" The mad woman demanded.

He stilled. "What?"

"You HAVE to carry me again."

Stunned by her preoccupation with his being able to carry her to the hospital, Toushiro let her shake him vehemently. He hoped it was just the sedatives she'd been given and relented in dropping his hip beside hers as he sat on the bed with a sigh. "You know, I haven't been off balance in nearly 10 years."

His confession seemed to douse the flames of her insanity; for now. Her face morphed into honest curiosity. "Really? But you're so good at it."

"Matsumoto, stop talking." Toushiro marveled at her ability to always throw him for a loop. "I'm sorry."

"For carrying me?"

This misdirection was deliberate. He saw it in the twinkle of her eye. He glared. "No. For hurting you."

As if appeased that there would be future occurrences were he would carry her, Rangiku settled back down against her pillow and shrugged. "I didn't feel a thing."

"You were frozen solid; I'm not surprised."

"I'm fine now."

"But I almost killed you."

"You can't apologize for that."

"Why the hell not?" He wanted to shake her and remind her just how close she'd come to death. How he'd almost been too late. How he'd almost lost her.

"Because it's not all your fault. I kind of forgot to duck."

"Duck?"

"Not really, what I mean is…you know you're still the biggest brooder around."

There she went again. Changing modes on him. He'd forgotten how tiresome it was. "I try," he muttered acerbically.

"Anyway, where was I?"

"I don't know the paths your brain takes Matsumoto."

"Wow, I really don't remember what I was saying."

A wave of guilt washed over him. "Matsumoto, did I really hit you that hard?"

Rangiku silently celebrated that she could still read her captain like a book. Guilt was written in every worry line in his face. "Now I remember. You were feeling guilty. Well I was trying to explain but you made me forget."

"About the ducks?"

The woman stared at him in bewildered silence. "What ducks?"

He made the mistake of looking into her eyes.

His mouth twitched and her eyes narrowed. "Oh I see what you're doing." Pointing a finger at him she offered him a knowing grin.

Unable to hold his dry smirk, he relaxed in his perch on the edge of her bed; stretching his legs and linking them at the ankles as he leaned there. "Touché?"

"My god Captain! Did you just make a funny?"

If she hadn't pointed it out, he wouldn't have noticed. Teasing her back seemed to come naturally. Smile dissipating, he cleared his throat; composing himself. "Don't get used to it. Dammit Matsumoto will you kindly be quiet and let me make my apology?"

"But it's unnecessary. It's not your fault because I forgot to block. It just took me by surprise when I realized you were trying to scare me."

Arms crossing he quirked an eyebrow at her astute conclusion. Was he really that transparent to her? "Why is that surprising?"

"Because Captain, I can be a lot of things but I can never be afraid of you."

If was meant to reassure him, it didn't.

He held her gaze with silent reprimand. "So you decided to take the blow and scare me half to death instead. Brilliant thinking Matsumoto."

"I'm sorry."

He flinched. "Don't you dare apologize. I've never been so damned scared in my life."

"Really?"

"Of course really!" He was on his feet, a furious hand running through his already spiking hair, the long strands down his shoulders stirred restlessly with him. "I nearly killed you!"

"But you didn't."

"But I wanted to!" He spun on her with vehemence. "Why the hell are you back?"

"Did you think I'd be gone forever?"

"It's been 10 years," he spat out.

"And now I'm back," she retorted with just as much acid, then she let out a slow breath that seemed to soften her apprehensions. "You said you understood why I had to be away."

He hadn't wanted to have this conversation, but it seemed inevitable. "I let you go so you could find yourself! I figured it wouldn't take you 10 years!"

"I didn't know either. I was confused. After the war when you defeated Gin; I just needed to think."

That name. Toushiro hadn't spoken or heard that name in a while. Not since she'd been gone. Not since the winter war. And he had forgotten just how much he hated the sound of it. "He had to die, he did unspeakable things."

"I know that."

"I had to do it." He forced the words past his lips almost as if they were choking him.

Rangiku was suddenly lost. She'd been about to reveal what really happened that night, but his insistence made her pause. "What do you mean?"

"I know you blamed me for his death." He looked down his nose at her, defensive. Waiting for her accusation.

"Blame you!?" Mouth gaping open, Rangiku stared at the stoic man standing there braced for the worst. "Captain, do I look like I'm four feet high and wear my grandmother's doily in my hair?"

Amusement chased surprise in his teal eyes.

"Momo might be stupid enough to blame you for Aizen's death, but I never blamed you for Gin. He had to die. And if there was anyone who had to be blamed it was me."

"You?" He snorted incredulously. "You are to blame for a lot of things, but his death is not one of them."

The woman let out slow, heavy breath. "I didn't tell you then, but he came to me the night before they came to Karakura town."

"I already know."

The ice blue eyes widened. "How?"

He didn't bother answering her stunned question, rather his gaze narrowed accusingly. "You had sex with him."

She flinched almost as if he'd slapped her. Maybe he had. "My, what a filthy mouth you have now."

"Did you?"

The sudden fire in her eyes was palpable, almost hot, as she growled low under her breath. "I didn't sleep with Gin."

"I saw him go into your room."

Rangiku's anger melded with surprise. "You were outside!?"

"I was on patrol."

"Spying on me!?" She screeched ignoring his denial.

He rolled his eyes and decided it was easier to just tell her the truth. "I was keeping an eye on you." But his eyes didn't meet hers.

The woman let out startled laugh. "I never knew you had stalker tendencies Captain."

"Matsumoto!"

Her mouth tilted in a reminiscing little smile when he spoke her name in its usual tone of exasperation. How easily they fell into old patterns. Yet everything was different. "He didn't come to seduce me. He came to talk to me."

"About what?" He demanded, eyes cold.

Rangiku could almost feel all the defenses he'd erected around himself as if expecting the worst from her. She sighed. "He asked me to come with him."

"With him!? To what? Heuco Mundo?"

"Yes and guess what I said?"

The ice in his eyes melting marginally he watched her with growing interest. "You refused him."

"Of course I refused him!" She snapped, her temper flaring as she tossed the sheet of her and slid out of the bed.

His hand caught her wrist. For a few tense moments they glared at each other before Rangiku let out a slow breath and rolled her eyes. Acquiescing. "I didn't even have to think about it honestly."

"So then why run away?"

"I told you. Because I was confused."

"About what?"

Dragging her wrist out of his grasp, Rangiku resisted the urge to shake him. "Oh for…I chose YOU over the man I had loved! I had every RIGHT to be confused."

Her words struck him with the power of an oncoming freighter. Stealing his accusations. "You didn't choose me."

"Yes I did." She countered firmly. "I told him I wouldn't leave you. I told him there was no way in hell I'd leave you to join hands with him. I could never betray you that way." A frown darkened her Captain's face. "He asked me why I let him go and I had no answer for him. Was it my purpose? Was it my vows? My pride? He WAS my childhood and I didn't even TRY to save him."

"Matsumoto!" His hands wrapped around her shoulders and he shook her trying to dislodge the thought that had somehow stuck in her head. "YOU didn't let go. HE let go. Hell even I let go. I should have never let you leave; I should have tied you down and knocked some sense into you."

"I needed some perspective."

"I needed YOU!" He thundered.

Her heart slammed into her ribs. "What?"

Toushiro Hitsugaya back paddled as fast as lightning. Stepping away from her, he turned away and crossed his arms again. "I meant…as a lieutenant." He corrected himself firmly, his eyes daring her to challenge him. If she asked him who he was convincing, he'd have no answer for her. "Squad 10 needed you," he reiterated.

"That's not what you said."

"It's what I meant."

"I see."

He walked to the window, looking out into the night. Suddenly pensive. Maybe a little Bitter. "So it never occurred to you to come back? You had to wait until I nearly destroyed my squad?"

"I'm sorry."

He couldn't help scowl at her, the night reflecting him in the window. "Don't insult my intelligence please."

"I'm not sorry I left." He caught her reflection. The woman wrapped her arms around herself. He saw the shiver that skated through her. "I'm sorry I didn't get to see you grow so tall and become a man."

His head turned, aqua eyes humorless. "My height isn't the only thing that makes me a man."

Unable to resist the opening, Rangiku purred. "Ooooh Captain!" The woman winked, a lecherous little smile curving her mouth as she effectively cut through the thick tension that had hung between them since they'd met. "I'm sure the other developments are just as important."

Heat rushing to his cheeks in poignantly familiar ways, Captain Toushiro Hitsugaya turned on her with a twitch in his eyebrow. "Matsumoto!" The woman threw back her head and laughed and it seemed to warm something inside him. "Matsumoto, there's something I'd like to tell you if you promise to keep it to yourself."

"Ooh, a secret! I love secrets. Tell me."

His lips thinned at her eagerness. "You know what the theory is on secrets, right?"

"What?"

"You don't repeat them."

Insulted, she scowled at him. "Of course I do."

"Promise me."

"Oh alright. I promise. Now tell me."

He knew it was pointless to question the wisdom of his decision now. She'd never let him get away with a lie. "The truth is Matsumoto – all the time you were away, everyday, when I did paperwork. When I defeated a hollow. When I caught my men going out for a drink. Hell just looking at Sake was enough. Well…the truth is…"

"Spit it out already!"

Amused by her impatience as always, he spoke softly, but clearly. "I missed you."

Dumbfounded, Rangiku stared for a long moment at the man they said was made of ice now. And maybe for a moment when she'd found him, he'd been as hard as diamonds, but here in the soft light of the hospital and the moonlight filtering through the window, he was the same boy she'd entrusted her life too. After all the years she'd lived in doubt, it was heartening to know that she'd been missed. And by him! Propelled out of the bed by a compulsion too great, she jumped and threw her arms around him. "Captain!"

Toushiro didn't get time to protest. He had expected a reaction, but he'd never expected one of her impromptu hugs. Not after the gap of the years that stretched between them. Startled as always, he caught her around the waist, prepared to be smothered. But – he wasn't.

Her face was buried into his neck and for the first time in his life Toushiro could return her embrace without the risk of being suffocated to death.

He was shocked. It was shock that made him stumble. It was shock that made him catch his breath. Almost shiver.

Pulling away with an embarrassed chuckle, the titan haired woman offered him an apologetic smile. "Whoops! Sorry. I keep forgetting. It's just that you're still adorable! And I missed you too. But I probably shouldn't have jumped you. You look a little shocked and…"

"Matsumoto…I'm not shocked…unpleasantly." He fidgeted over his answer, sliding a hand over the nape of his neck uncomfortably.

"Oh?"

Exasperated with her lack of acuity, he grunted. "You didn't cut off my air this time."

A sunny eyebrow arched before the spurt of laughter was squelched. Wouldn't do to laugh at him when he was obviously taken aback by their new perspective of each other. Rangiku was getting used to the idea of having him glare down at her. It was infinitely more entertaining to see that it made no difference how tall he was for him to fall prey to her teasing. "Oh!" Shaking her head, she gave him a cheeky smile. "But then why are you still all red Captain?" When he opened his mouth to protest, she waved it off with a singsong wave of her hand. "Don't worry. We'll just pretend that didn't happen. But do you know what this means?" She clapped her hands together jovially.

Hitsugaya winched. "I'm afraid to ask."

"You and I can go drinking together now!"

"What? No way."

"Oh come on! I promise I won't let you go home with a pretty barmaid or anything."

"Matsumoto!"

"What? I'm only taking into account that you're engaged to Momo otherwise I'm all for helping friends with a bedroom bonanza."

Groaning, the usually stoic Captain shook his head. "I've changed my mind. I did not miss you."

"Awwww, come on. You proposed to Momo; you can't go off with a barmaid."

"I didn't propose to Momo." He realized it was the wrong denial the moment he heard himself make it. Hastily he continued. "And I don't WANT to go off with a barmaid"

But the woman grasped onto his slip in an instant. Smile fading, Rangiku took a step closer to and peered up into his face. "What do you mean, you didn't propose to Momo?"

He shrugged as if it didn't matter, but Rangiku could see that it did. "It just happened."

"I don't follow."

Running a weary hand through his hair, Toushiro took a deep breath. He'd already let the cat out of the bad. He might as well take the full plunge. Besides, he hadn't lied when he said he missed her. And he wasn't one to lie to her about this. "After Aizen's death, I tried to help Momo. She needed me. So I started to look after her. She was practically living with me already, so when Head Captain Yamamoto wondered if it might lend Momo the stability she unconsciously needed after being abandoned by her Captain, I said yes."

"You didn't actually ask her to marry you?"

"I did."

"You don't sound very enthusiastic about it."

"I am."

Crossing her arms, the woman quirked a smug little eyebrow at his stubborn. "Yeah. Now say it with more feeling and less force."

Scowling, he glared down at her. "You're just as nosey."

"It's a gift."

Grumbling under his breath, he walked over and dropped back into the visitor's chair rather grumpily. "I am enthusiastic. It's just that no matter what I do for her, it's never enough. It gets tiring after a while. Trying to live up to Aizen."

It was like throwing a lit match into a room full of fireworks. The woman before him was suddenly spitting with anger. "Live up to Aizen! Are you kidding me!" Toushiro tried to interrupt, but the woman had already exploded into a torrent of curses. "Aizen!? That deceitful snake! That conniving asshole! That evil rat bastard! He isn't even HALF the man you are. How could you even THINK that!"

He couldn't help smirk up at her, the corner of his mouth twisting up in amusement. He'd forgotten how righteously indignant she could be. And he realized it was infinitely more entertaining to rile her up than he'd realized. He couldn't blame her for teasing him all those years. Almost. "Matsumoto, I meant in Momo's perspective. Not mine."

Deflating like a balloon, she fell into embarrassed silence before locating her swallowed tongue. "Oh…"

He opened his mouth to tease her about turned tables, but another voice cut through their lull in conversation. "So this is why you didn't come to apologize."

Toushiro sighed deeply and braced himself.

Rangiku was first to react. Looking up at the raven haired woman standing in the doorway, she smiled bright. "Hinamori! How nice to…"

But Momo wasn't listening; her eyes were fastened onto the weary captain. "Couldn't even wait a moment to replace me Shiro-chan? Am I that easy to put aside?"

"Momo please…"

"You probably wanted this from the beginning. Taking pity on me and marrying me was just until SHE got back."

Frustration building into fury, the temperature seemed to drop in the room as Toushiro glared at the woman he didn't know anymore. "Dammit Momo, I never said I'm marrying you for pity."

"You don't need to. I've heard enough people talk."

"Who?"

"Doesn't matter. That's not the point. You've replaced me."

"I didn't replace you! You attacked me Momo. You nearly took my head off. Did you expect them to give you a medal for attacking your own captain?"

Rangiku did not want to be here. Usually this sort of family drama would have been fun for her to witness and spread around, but she had a feeling this hit a little too close to home. Slinking towards the door, Rangiku offered them a weak smile. "Err maybe I should go to the little girl's room, right now."

"No!" Momo snapped, her eyes cut through Matsumoto like a knife. "Stay. After all, this is where you belong. You're his lieutenant."

"And you're his fiancée Momo," Rangiku reminded her gently.

"I don't know anymore."

Toushiro sighed heavily. "Go home Momo. We'll talk about this later."

"Don't bother. I won't be there." Momo turned and walked out without another word.

In the sudden silence that followed, Rangiku saw a myriad of emotions flash across the man's face before it hardened.

"Captain?"

Picking up his Zanpaktou from beside hers where it rested on the table, he headed towards the door. "Paperwork. I need to do paperwork."

The ice was back.

Rangiku didn't feel any animosity towards Momo, but she couldn't help wish the woman had chosen another time to interrupt them. Toushiro had only just started to thaw. "Come on. I'll help you."

Toushiro didn't protest. He didn't tease her about willingly offering to help with paperwork. He realized two things: Rangiku never blamed him for killing Gin and Momo would never forgive him for killing Aizen.

***

**To be Continued…**


	5. Chapter 4

**PUSH  
**_A Bleach Fanfic  
_1/8/10  
**Chapter 4  
**Summary: Rangiku Matsumoto returns after ten years to find things have changed.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot. The song lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan.

***

The days turned to weeks. Around her, the Seireitei was grateful for Matsumoto's return, but Rangiku didn't know how much she'd done to help. Sure, her squad was running smother now that everyone's mind was on work rather than Toushiro's personal life. But on a personal level, her captain was still hard as stone, immovable on continuing their discussion from the Hospital. It was as if he had decided to pretend it hadn't happened. Rangiku wondered if almost dying was the only thing that would thaw him out again.

Hinamori didn't come around as often anymore either. They were still engaged. The wedding was still on, but Rangiku couldn't help feel unsettled by her Captain's complacency. He seemed less like a man out to marry his childhood sweetheart and more like a martyr.

Sitting in the office, she watched him behind his desk as she had many years. His concentration was absolute. As was the tiny frown that always sat between his eyes. Back straight, his brush glided across the paper without a break, making reports, signing, consolidating.

From her perch on the couch, she wondered if he could feel her eyes on him.

"Would you like time off?"

Startled out of her scrutiny of him, she blinked at his head still bowed, brush still moving. Had he really spoken to her?

Sure enough, the brush stilled and the teal green eyes lifted deliberately. "Do I have something between my teeth?"

"I don't know," Rangiku mused, dropping her chin in her hand as she regarded him. "I haven't seen your teeth in a while."

His frown deepened.

"Tell me Captain Hitsugaya, do you smile at all anymore?"

"Did I smile a lot before?"

She sighed with despondency. "Not much, no. But you're much worse now." Sliding her chin out of her hand, she stood and walked over to his desk. From his position he had to crane his head back to watch her as she placed her hands flat on his desk and leaned over to glare at him. If Rangiku expected him to take a peek at the ample cleavage she had on display, her captain, as usual, didn't bother. His eyebrow merely rose, as if anticipating her rant. "Whatever your reasons are for marrying Momo Hinamori, you can't."

The second eyebrow joined the first in surprise.

Rangiku's ice blue eyes narrowed. "I'm tired of beating around the bush with you Captain, but you can't marry her if it's going to make you into this sour, workaholic grouch."

The frown returned.

"Stop frowning at me, it's annoying," Rangiku grunted and leaned away to cross her arms. "You never used to be a lot of fun before, but my god Captain! I have underwear that's livelier than you!"

The Captain in question seemed to sputter mentally at her conclusion before drawing a fortifying breath. "Matsumoto, could you kindly keep your underwear out of this?"

"Why?" She picked up her trademark pink scarf and wiggled one end at him. "Do you ask me to keep my scarf out of this? What's wrong with my underwear?"

Sighing, Toushiro set down his brush. "Matsumoto…"

"Stop saying my name all the time!"

"Stop talking about your underwear then!"

She caught a spark of life behind those gorgeous aqua eyes and Rangiku smiled inwardly. At least he was displaying some emotion. Lately he'd started to resemble a certain silent, well-renowned Captain with long black hair. "When was the last time you had any fun?"

"Where are we right now?" He mock contemplated. "Oh yes, in the office!" His eyes clearly darkened to reprimand her, but Rangiku didn't heed the warning. "It's not a place meant for fun! It's a place meant for work."

"I didn't ask where, I said when. Although, I doubt you've ever had any fun in this office even if Hinamori was in a frisky mood. Somehow I can't imagine you and her…"

"Matsumoto!"

With a content little giggle, she sat down at the edge of the desk and winked at him. "Come now Captain, you don't want to discuss Hinamori, but we can talk about you. I'm curious; you have been with a woman, haven't you?"

"I don't want to discuss this either!" Reaching out he grabbed the papers that were stuck underneath her backside where she conveniently perched. "Will you kindly remove yourself from my desk?'

"Why?" The woman placed one hand in the middle of said desk and leaned forward to grin lasciviously at him. "Is this spot usually taken?"

Seething now, Captain Hitsugaya rose from his chair and glowered at her. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm investing in some downtime."

"Kindly go do it at your own table!"

"You're in serious need of some downtime."

Frustrated and inclined to physically removing the woman from his desk, Toushiro let out soft growl. "Matsumoto, if you don't get off my desk in the next ten seconds…"

"You're going to spank me!" She chirped happily and clapped her hands. "Excellent! That means you must have gotten some experience while I was gone."

Heat rushing up his neck, Toushiro cursed the day he got stuck with this woman as his second in command. "Damn you Matsumoto! I'm in no mood to play with you!"

"Then are you in the mood to discuss your looming wedding?"

With a snarl, he threw down his pen, ink splattering his perfect little reports but thanks to his Lieutenant's meddling he was good and mad now. "Hell with my goddamn wedding! I just want some peace and quiet! Is that really too much to ask for!"

"That's exactly what I'm saying!" Rangiku crossed one leg over the other and completely ignored the dropping temperature in the room. She leaned there on his desk, like it was the most natural thing in the world during their working hours and spoke calmly. "Hell with your wedding Captain. If it stresses you out so you can't have any fun and if it makes you brood more than usual, then it's a complete waste of time."

"I will decide what is and isn't a waste of my time!" The snowy eyebrow twitched as he grabbed the edge of the papers that stuck out from under her ass and tugged. "MOVE!"

Rangiku sat there for a painful little breath and met his eyes head on. "And if I don't?"

The aqua eyes narrowed with deadly precision. "You're fired."

"You can't fire me," she replied with relish, laughing musically at his quelling gaze. "I'm under strict orders from Head Captain Yamamoto to lighten you up."

The man took a step closer to her, nose nearly coming level with hers. Rangiku stilled under the sudden weight of his proximity. "Get. Off. My. Desk."

Run. Her mind screamed at her, but Rangiku was too busy staring at this new man who was now her Captain. Before, by now, he would have caved, but now he bared down at her with an obvious 'I'm bigger than you' edge. And it was scary as hell and, if she let herself admit it, sexy. She wanted to say 'no', but her tongue wouldn't obey. "Yes," she squeaked then cleared her throat, his lethal stare still burning into her. "But on one condition."

The teal green eyes narrowed into unforgiving slits. "You realize that I could say 'hell with your condition' and just remove you myself."

"Yes," she agreed with a minute nod, resisting the urge to retreat and put some distance between them. It was suddenly distracting having him looking down at her, inside her personal bubble. "And I could just move and go on with my merry life, but then what kind of friend would I be if I let you become duller than underwear?"

For a few moments he held her gaze silently. Watching. Waiting. Disbelieving. Then Captain Toushiro Hitsugaya caved. With a groan, he dropped his forehead against hers, stealing her breath before taking a step away and throwing up his hands in defeat. "Sometimes Matsumoto, I think you're my punishment in the afterlife."

When Rangiku could gather her thought and her surprise had abated she realized she'd won. With a winsome smile she watched the slump of his shoulders. It didn't bother her. This slump meant he'd finally let go of the tension that had held him ramrod-straight for weeks. "You're just lucky I guess."

His glare could have frozen a lesser woman's soul.

Rangiku hopped off the desk. "Come on, there's a tea cup with your name on it and we're having it in your favorite spot."

He quirked an eyebrow at her in soundless question.

Her smirk was smug. "The roof."

***

**To be Continued…**

PS: To everyone's who's feeding me reviews...I LOVE YOU! :D I promise the next chapter's coming soon. And I'm sorry this was a tad short.


	6. Chapter 5

**PUSH  
**_A Bleach Fanfic  
_1/12/10  
**Chapter 5  
**Summary: Rangiku Matsumoto returns after ten years to find things have changed.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot. The song lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan.

***

He hadn't been up on the office roof in years. Somehow he'd forgotten how peaceful it could be. Especially in the late hours of the evening. He hadn't realized how long he had been working. He'd somehow stopped taking tally of his working hours. It was easier to work as late as possible and then go home and sleep. Anything that came inbetween only made his life more complicated.

But with the light fading in the sky and the peace and quiet of the rooftops, Toushiro realized just how much he'd missed his favorite spot.

Below them, shinigami were wrapping up their work days, heading towards their friends, meeting for some well deserved 'downtime'. Rangiku was right. He couldn't remember a time when he'd had some for himself. In his younger days he'd been too busy trying to prove himself. Too busy living up to his 'prodigy' status. When he got older, he'd been too busy living up to the image he created. It was tedious trying to be perfect. It was lonely not needing anyone. He'd secretly hoped that together, he and Momo would heal, but everything had gone horribly wrong.

Everything. When Rangiku Matsumoto had left his side.

He knew the implications were more significant than he imagined, so he decided he'd contemplate them tomorrow. Right now, he watched the woman in question, precariously picking her way across the roof shingles before plopping herself beside him with a grin. "And I didn't spill a drop."

"Wonder of wonders," he muttered dryly and took his cup from hers carefully.

Laughing at his deadpan tone, Rangiku nudged his shoulder with hers and curled both her hands around her own cup. "Come on! I'm not completely inept."

"Yes Matsumoto, you almost are."

"Heeeey! That wasn't very nice!"

"I'm not very nice."

"Hmph," grumbling, she took a sip. She gratified in the untroubled tranquility that surrounded her Captain. She didn't mind being picked on. For now. But she couldn't help be weighed down by his admission. "But you're wrong, you know."

Turning his head, Toushiro regarded her silently.

"You're very nice. You always have been. You could convince the world, but you can't convince me Captain. I know better."

Eyes darkening, he dragged his eyes back towards the dark horizon. _Damn perceptive woman._

They sat in silence for a long time. The tea slowly disappeared from their cups until Rangiku reached out and took his empty cup from him gently and placed it beside her on the roof ledge. He looked at her when her fingers brushed his. His eyes were suddenly confused. "Why did you come back Matsumoto?"

This question was different from the time he'd asked her in the hospital. So Rangiku chose her words carefully.

"I would never have forgiven myself," she whispered, but he heard her just the same, "if I failed you too."

There was a sharp stab of pain in his chest. He wanted to touch her. Reassure her, but he didn't think he'd be able to do either. "It's pointless to dwell on these things."

"Pots and kettles Captain." This time her teasing smile didn't reach her eyes.

"You didn't fail him Matsumoto. He failed you."

"I did fail him." Rangiku wrapped her arms around her knees and hugged them close. "He thought I loved him enough to betray you. But I..." Her voice trailed off; she went deathly still.

Toushiro blinked as her back suddenly snapped straight, her pretty blue eyes widening slowly. "Matsumoto?"

Slowly, her head turned; eyes still impossibly wide. Staggered, but swimming with a clarity he hadn't seen there since she'd been back. "Oh god," she breathed.

Frowning, he couldn't help the twinge of apprehension. "What's wrong?"

"That's it, isn't it? That's what's been bothering me."

"What's been bothering you?"

"Why I had to leave! Why I couldn't find my answer! Oh my god!" She squeaked, her hands trembling where they gripped her knees. "How could I be so stupid?"

"Matsumoto, you're worrying me now."

"It was you!"

He blinked, startled. "Me?"

"You!" She pointed an accusing finger at him, her eyes still nearly ready to roll out of her head. "You meant more to me than him. Oh my god!" She gasped, horrified. "I love YOU!"

If Toushiro had a million years to guess what her problem was, he never would have picked this one. "Ah...Matsumoto, you're overreacting."

The woman stretched out her legs and sat in a stunned sprawl beside him. Then she drew a deep breath and seemed to visibly relax. "No. I only confuse easy, I'm not an idiot."

All tranquility shot to hell, the young captain swallowed uneasily, turning towards her attentively. "Love like you'd love a captain? Right?" He wasn't sure who he was trying to reassure.

"No captain," she answered firmly. Clear blue eyes turned to him without a hint of uncertainty and his heart sank then raced like a caged animal. "I'm talking full on 'hearts in my eyes' and 'ants in my pants' love."

"What!" He jerked back as if she'd reached out and smacked him. "Matsumoto!"

"Oh." She frowned at him. "Would you like me to lie for your benefit?"

Sputtering for the first time in nearly ten years, the young captain stumbled over his breath "Uh. Gha! Phhth...YES!"

Tapping her finger against her nose, Rangiku contemplated her options. "Okay lemme try this..." She cleared her throat, shook her hair lose and tried for an uninterested demeanor. "Oooh captain! I don't lose my breath thinking about how good you'd look without your shirt on."

His aqua eyes were nearly as wide as hers had been. "MATSUMOTO!"

"Right." With a wince she thought again. "Okay lemme try again." Her mouth widened into a confident smile. "How about this? I don't think you're hot when you frown at and call me 'Matsumoto' like I got under your skin."

He gawked at her, drawing away slightly, resisting the need to pinch himself and confirm that he wasn't dreaming.

The woman sighed in defeat. "Oh dear, not good? I have another..."

"NO!" He held up a shaky hand. "No stop, I get it."

"Wow." She grinned. "It feels really good to have everything so clear."

Swallowing, almost compelled to jump off the roof, he grumbled. "Yay for you."

She wrapped her arms back around her knees and rocked gently as if she had not a care in the world. Then she turned to him. "Wana date?"

He nearly came to his feet. "Matsumoto!"

"See!" She pointed to him with a wide grin. "Soooo sexy."

Smacking his hand into his forehead, Toushiro groaned. "I had to ask." He couldn't imagine dating Matsumoto. Hell, he couldn't imagine her being in love with him! She was the woman everyone wanted and couldn't have. He couldn't imagine touching her intimately without hyperventilating. As a boy he had always thought she was an exceptionally beautiful woman. He might even have had a tiny crush on her, but more than that, he always respected her. As a Lieutenant, as a partner. As a friend. To contemplate a romantic relationship with Matsumoto was like imagining Hyourinmaru spitting fire.

Date? Love? Sex!?

"You realize that this is entirely too possible now."

Like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck, he stilled. Scared. "What is?" She couldn't have read his mind. He didn't remember her being able to do that, but right then he couldn't tell. The world could fall around his ears and he wouldn't understand.

"You and me."

His mouth dropped open unattractively. "Matsumoto! Are you propositioning me?!"

"Not at all, I'm musing." She shook her sunny head, her tumbling hair catching fire in the setting sun. "If I was propositioning I'd say, 'step into my parlor and let me rock your world baby'."

Speechless, Captain Hitsugaya stared at her.

Rangiku blinked at his catatonic silence. "Captain? Are you ok? You look pale."

"This can't be right!"

"What can't?"

Panicked and aghast, he shook his head as if to clear the sudden prospects she'd placed there. "I find myself finding that proposition entirely too appealing."

The woman threw her head back and laughed, clapping her hands together. "Oh goodie!"

"No Matsumoto, this isn't good."

Leaning closer, her eyes became hooded. "Say my name again."

He drew back, eyes widening at the husky lilt in her voice. One that had never been directed at him, he realized why men walked into poles around her. "Ma...dammit Rangiku!"

She frowned. "Awww that didn't have the same effect. Try it with a huskier voice. Then maybe."

Shaking his head, he tried to glare at her. It was becoming increasingly difficult to think. Hell, it was difficult to breathe! "I'm not having this conversation with you."

"We can always skip to the end," she provided helpfully.

"The end of what!" He gaped at her; and then held up a hand, eyes closing as he gathered his composure. "No wait... Don't tell me."

"I can show you," Rangiku purred.

"Matsumoto!"

She let out a happy little sigh. "Thank you."

His head dropped into his hands. It was bad enough she was suggesting it, but it was worse that he wasn't completely repulsed by the idea. Astonished, but not entirely repulsed. It was stupid and wrong, he told himself. She was just trying to tease him. Trying to get under his skin like she always did. He was supposed to be married in two weeks! She couldn't be in love with him!

Patting his head Rangiku cooed softly. "My poor little captain." She realized that it had dragged the ground out from under him. Maybe she'd always known, but she'd taken it into stride like she had almost everything in her life. There was no point in battling herself and Rangiku Matsumoto had no need to deny anything. He would just have to deal.

Batting her hand away, Toushiro growled low under his breath. "I'm not little anymore dammit."

"That's what I'm saying. Lets date!"

"Oh god! Go away Matsumoto. Go do something."

"Oh okay," the woman relented with a pout. "I'll go do paperwork but only because I love you."

His breath hitched in his chest.

She left her captain there on the roof with his perpetually twitching eyebrow, her shoulders shaking with laughter. She hadn't felt this light or free in all her life, but she feared her poor captain's eyebrow wouldn't get any reprieve any time soon.

She was in love and her captain couldn't run for the hills.

***

**To be Continued…**


	7. Chapter 6

**PUSH**

_A Bleach Fanfic_

1/10/10

**Chapter 6**

Summary: Rangiku Matsumoto returns after ten years to find things have changed.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot. The song lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan.

Author's note: I have to say this now because it would be unfair to continue this without. I want to thank all the people who've been offering me words of encouragement. You pretty much make me smile like an idiot all day long. I especially wana thank Seynee, Electra Red, Heart4Phoenix, WhiteWinterDragon

KatonRyuuka, nickeledwards, BoopieBear , PandoraNC and Angel Taisha for reviewing every time I update. I love you guys! :D

***

To say Toushiro Hitsugaya was paranoid was an understatement. Ever since his Lieutenant had her epiphany, she had been relentless. He couldn't avoid her if he tried. Toushiro lamented why he hadn't just stayed in his damn shell. Why hadn't he let her think she'd failed that swine of a man, Gin. Because having a flighty Matsumoto skipping out on paperwork was easier than the woman that was stalking him now. Just the notion gave him chills.

Matsumoto was stalking him.

"Caaaptain…"

He almost dropped his Zanpaktou. "Oh hell."

The trainee he'd been instructing peered at him curiously. For the new recruit it was intriguing to see his usually stoic and proper captain dodging his lieutenant. They all had standing bets when their captain would explode and throw her out, or give in. Because Rangiku Matsumoto was a woman to be reckoned with.

Sashaying to a stop beside her captain, Rangiku rewarded him with a dazzling little smile. "What a lovely day for some sparring! Let me help!"

Grunting under his breath, Toushiro didn't meet her eyes. "I wish you'd been this eager to help out of the goodness of your heart."

"But Captain," Rangiku's eyes became innocently offended, "it is because of my heart that I am always willing to help. You know I__"

"Matsumoto!" Toushiro glared pointedly at her. The last thing he needed was more fodder for gossip. "Go see how Hasegawa's doing with his flash step."

"Sure, then we're going to break for tea," she commanded with a solemnly raised hand.

Toushiro knew it would be pointless to refuse her. "Yeah yeah...just please, go train."

"Okay!" With a well placed wink and a smile, she was off.

Toushiro took a fortifying breath before lifting his eyes to the snickering young man standing before him. Hoping to god, he wasn't flushing, he growled menacingly. "If you don't stop smiling, I'm going to put you in charge of cleaning Captain Zaraki's bathrooms."

The man stilled.

"With a toothbrush."

The new recruit nearly cried.

***

There was something infinitely pleasing in watching a grown man jump like a fish. Teasing Toushiro as a boy was fun, but to watch him squirm now was a high Rangiku had never felt before. It was gratifying that she could make him lose his cool. Gratifying, and heartening. Because it was as obvious to the rest of the world as it now was to Matsumoto – Toushiro Hitsugaya needed some serious color in his life and she could bet her life on it that Momo Hinamori couldn't coax him out of his shadows.

So that left only one problem.

Someone had to convince him to break his honorable promise to Momo and get on with his life.

Of course, a selfish little part of Rangiku that had fallen in love with him knew it was also for herself. But in the grand scheme of things, she knew her captain wouldn't be happy with needy little Momo. Rangiku knew that no one could keep him unless he needed them. And right now there was only one woman that he needed. And that was Rangiku Matsumoto.

"Let me help."

"AHHHH!" Nearly tumbling out of his chair, the snowy haired captain stared up at the woman looming over his shoulder as a chain of shushing echoed around them. He'd been so engrossed in his research in the library, he hadn't seen her approach. Heart thudding in his chest, he grabbed her arm and dragged her down into the chair beside him, hissing at her. "Dammit woman, are you trying to give me a heart attack!?"

"Oh, of course not!" Concern etched across her face, Rangiku reached out and placed a warm hand against his chest almost as if she physically wanted to keep his heart from cardiac arrest.

The man however, went still almost like she'd wrapped her fist around the organ in question. "Matsumoto?"

"Yes my captain?" She whispered, gazed up at him with extra expectation, she knew would put him on edge.

"Stop touching me!"

"SHHHHH!" Someone shushed from across the library.

Hunching lower in his seat, he wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole.

"Captain Hitsugaya, perhaps this is a good time to remind you that although I might be in love with you…"

"Matsumoto!" He hissed exasperatedly, looking around to make sure no one was listening to him. "Will you please keep your voice down?"

Biting her cheek to keep from smiling at his unease, Matsumoto offered him a sickeningly sweet smile. "Although, I might be in love with you," she repeated in a conspiring little whisper, "you don't have to worry."

"Of course I have to worry!" His whisper was appalled. "You're my lieutenant! I'm getting married! Dammit woman, do you not see the problem here?"

"Yes, I do. Out of some misplaced sense of honor, you're marrying a woman who doesn't make you happy."

"It is not misplaced."

"It is certainly misplaced when the woman in question couldn't care less."

He had no answer for her. Frowning at her blunt honestly, he turned back down to the book spread out before him and pretended to ignore her.

As if that was possible.

No one ignored Rangiku.

Leaning closer she whispered right into his ear. "Has she really spoken to you about what happened?"

Nudging his shoulder against his ear, Toushiro veiled the shiver that ran down his spine. "We speak all the time."

"Asking whether you're out of milk isn't really a conversation you know."

Head whipping around, he gaped at her. "You were spying on me!?"

"I was on patrol," she repeated his previous excuse with an innocuous smile.

Soundlessly his mouth moved before, the teal green eyes hardened. "Kindly keep your opinions to yourself. I'm a man of my word and I plan to marry Hinamori."

"Even if it makes you duller than my___"

His hand shot out and clamped over her mouth as heat rushed to his ears. Dammit, Toushiro cursed inwardly. He was a grown man. He shouldn't have to be reduced to this. "Matsumoto, will you please leave me alone?" Maybe he forgot he was holding her silent, but while he waited for her answer, Toushiro couldn't help wonder just how pretty her eyes were. Clear and transparent. There were no secrets there, but then Rangiku wasn't a woman who liked secrets. She'd always offered all of herself to her friends and loved ones. More than that, he hated that she'd given so much more to the asswipe Gin and he'd tossed it into her face. He'd never admit it, but it humbled him that she'd chosen him over Gin.

Then those beguiling eyes sparked with mischief and the wet tip of her tongue stroked across his palm.

Jerking away like he'd touched a livewire, Toushiro snapped his book shut and stalked out of the library, cursing profusely under his breath.

She also scared the shit out of him.

***

**To be Continued…**


	8. Chapter 7

**PUSH  
**_A Bleach Fanfic  
_1/17/10  
**Chapter 7  
**Summary: Rangiku Matsumoto returns after ten years to find things have changed.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot. The song lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan.  
**Important Author's sqwawk:** Before anyone reads this and flames me I'd like to make a point. One that I've discussed with most of my reviewers. I don't particularly like Hinamori's character. But I believe there's a Momo in every story. The woman who needs to be saved. The weak damsel who has to be rescued. I have nothing against them, but I realize the importance they have in our lives. She might be a weak-willed woman who is chasing after a hallucination, but I've endeavored to humanize her. We all know this girl. We've met her. She clings to her men because they define her. She clings to her safe zone because change scares her. And if we've met her than you know that she's a part of every story. That's why, I've tried to be unbiased towards Momo's character and tried to understand her. Doesn't mean she gets our captain ;) So please, read with an open mind and enjoy! Luvs!

***

"Momo, be reasonable."

"I am reasonable!" The raven haired woman glared at him. "He was a good captain; his name should not be removed from our records."

"He tried to take the world to hell!"

"It wasn't all him," she stated tremulously. "They made him do it."

Running a frustrated hand through his hair, Toushiro stepped forward and gathered her in his arms. "Please Momo. It's better you let this go."

Although, she didn't pull out of his arms, her head nestled under his chin; the woman didn't soften. "You want me to be the quaint little wife at home while you go out and play hero alone."

He sighed, his arms loosening around her enough so he could look down at her. "Momo, look at me."

Head tilting back she lifted her big brown eyes to him silently.

"What's wrong with being my quaint little wife at home?" He asked tenderly, his calloused fingers sliding around the gentle slope of her jaw.

"I'm a lieutenant."

He smiled teasingly at her. "Maybe this could be like a vacation. You could try and take up gardening again; Granny always said you had a green thumb. Look at those watermelons you planted. We ate them for months there were so many."

She gazed up at him. Her childhood friend. Her little Shiro. "Why are you pushing so hard Shiro-chan?"

Smile fading, the aqua eyes darkened. "What do you mean?"

"I know you care about me, but you don't understand me."

His brow creased with growing apprehension. "What does that mean?"

"I'm a lieutenant of the 13 Court Guard Squads. I can't stay home and play house with you. I have opinions and I feel strongly about them." Pulling out his arms she sighed. "I know you think I'm crazy."

"Momo, I don't think___"

"Yes you do Toushiro." Her eyes sharpened on his. "And maybe for a little while I was. Maybe Captain Aizen was the devil you all make him out to be, but for the time he was a Captain here, he should be remembered for what he was."

A muscle tightened in his jaw. He wanted to shake her and remind her that he'd always been plotting their deaths. Even when he'd been pretending to be the perfect little mentor to her, but knew she wouldn't listen. They'd always thought it was Aizen's hypnosis that had become deep-rooted in her mind, but Toushiro knew how Hinamori could cling to her beliefs. She was convinced that Aizen had been misled. "They will not listen to you."

"Then I will speak to them again."

For the fifth time this week, Momo Hinamori walked towards the Council chambers with a request to reinstate her dead captain's name in the records.

Toushiro turned to go back to his squad only to find Matsumoto watching him silently.

Jaw hardening, he stalked past her without a backward glance.

Rangiku took a shaky breath once her captain's spiritual presence lessened. He was still trying. She could see it when he'd tried to console her. A part of sympathized with the girl. Rangiku knew that no matter what happened, she'd follow Toushiro to the ends of the world. Both lieutenants were driven by belief. Unshakable belief in their captain. Rangiku hadn't flinched when they said Toushiro had rebelled when the key was stolen. No one could convince her that Toushiro Hitsugaya had defected. Perhaps Momo knew the truth about Aizen. Maybe it was easier this way.

But Momo's turmoil was making her captain miserable and Rangiku knew where her loyalties lay.

***

Toushiro sprinted across the rooftops, landing in the Squad 4 courtyard in a lithe squat before he burst through the doors of the infirmary. "Where is she?"

Lieutenant Ise looked up exasperated. "Oh for the love of god! Can people ever open our door without throwing it against the wall! The hinges break! I just got it fixed last week."

Clearing his throat, Toushiro pushed the lopsided lapel of the door back into its hinges, the metal squeaking pitifully. "Um…I apologize." He lifted concern drenched eyes to the green haired woman. "They said you brought in Lieutenant Matsumoto from a hollow attack, is she__"

Lifting a hand, Ise interrupted him with a sigh. "Captain Unohana is looking over her. It was just a simple cut, Lieutenant Matsumoto has suffered worse falling down stairs in a drunken stupor; she'll be fine."

Frowning at the woman's complacency, but deciding not to comment and invite more trouble, Toushiro stepped around her. "Thank you, I will check on her."

"I hate this job," he heard the woman mutter behind him and held back a smile as the Captain of Squad 11 burst in through the front door, bleeding all over the nice clean floor. The hinges broke again.

He had no trouble finding his lieutenant. Leaning his shoulder in the doorway, he watched Captain Unohana slide the bandage in place with a gentle smile. He sighed with relief when he noticed that it _was_ a small cut and Matsumoto looked as healthy as always. He couldn't imagine the terrified fear that had clogged his senses when they'd said she'd been taken to Squad 4.

Deciding to compose himself first, he listened to her talk to the Squad 4 captain animatedly.

"Ever wonder why captain Zaraki is always fighting, Captain Unohana?"

The soft-spoken Captain smiled gently. "I suppose Lieutenant Matsumoto; it is because he enjoys it."

Nodding, the sunny haired woman tapped a finger against her nose as she pondered the answer. But Toushiro could tell she was already plotting a takeover. That was just Rangiku's way. "True," Rangiku spoke in her usual singsong voice, "but have you realized that every single time he fights, he bleeds and ends up here."

Captain Unohana's green eyes snapped up in growing trepidation. "Oh?"

"And have you realized that when that happens, the only one who can patch him up - is you?" Rangiku's eyes fluttered beguilingly and Toushiro almost had to bite his cheek to keep from laughing.

Unohana's mouth dropped open almost comically, her green eyes wide.

"Hey Unohana! Where the hell are you woman; I'm bleeding to death here!"

Muttering excuses about pending patients, the flustered but blushing Squad 4 Captain turned and fled from the room.

Toushiro sighed heavily and shook his head as his lieutenant threw back her head and burst out laughing. "Matsumoto?"

Ice blue eyes twinkling with mischief, she smiled up at him. "Yes, my captain?

"Renji causes less trouble than you."

Her shoulders shaking with laughter, Rangiku leaned back in her hospital bed contentedly. "Yes, my captain."

One thing was certain. Toushiro realized losing her again was unthinkable.

***

Captain Ukitaki was finishing up a report he'd been working on all day when the door to his room screeched open unceremoniously before snapping back shut. Looking up at the intrusion he was surprised to find their snowy haired captain leaned against the closed door, out of breath and haggard. As if he'd been running. "Toushiro?"

"You have to help me. If you consider me your friend and have any regard for me Joushiro you will do as I say."

The usually impassive man's voice was a tad high pitched. Ukitake raised an eyebrow. "Uh...sure. But I'm not entirely sure what__"

"I need sanctuary," he demanded, teal green eyes wide. "As my last honest request I beseech you do me this favor."

"I would but__"

"Please!"

Ukitake sighed as the man's eyes became marginally crazed for a moment. "Toushiro..."

"I beg you!"

"You don't have to beg me!"

"But I do!"

"I agree!" Joushiro quickly intercepted his pleading. "Whatever the hell you want – I agree. Now for god's sake tell me what you need."

"Hide me?"

Eyes widening, Ukitake wondered if he was imagining things. Did the man just whine? "What's this about hiding?"

"It's Matsumoto! She's stalking me!"

He couldn't help it. Captain Joushiro Ukitake burst out laughing.

"You find this amusing?" Toushiro looked bruised.

"No, no my friend." Still chuckling, Ukitake stood up and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "But I don't believe that she's really..."

"She is!" Toushiro snapped, beginning to pace, his eyebrow twitching more than usual. "She's everywhere I go. She's always looking for me and it's come to this that I can't take a single breath without wondering which way she's coming from! Dammit Joushiro she's made it so I can't think of anything but her!"

Ukitake hid a smile. "I see. Maybe you should give her what she wants."

The usually tranquil man snarled low under his breath.

Holding up his hands at the sudden burst of spiritual pressure from the young shinigami, Ukitake smiled. "What I mean is that whatever it is that she wants you might as well just give it to her Toushiro; she'll get her way eventually anyway."

"But...I...it's…" Toushiro sputtered for a moment before channeling his confusion into anger. "No!"

"Okay, okay. Don't get angry with me. But if its Rangiku you're hiding from you should know this will be the first place she'll look."

The man went deathly still, then exploded "WHAT!? Well, why didn't you tell me! I've been standing here and__"

"Caaaaptain! There you are!"

There was a sharp intake of breath and the curtains in Joushiro's window fluttered.

"Oh! Wow he's fast," Rangiku mused from where she was framed in the doorway.

Ukitake couldn't help grin at the woman. He really should have helped the poor man, but more than that, he enjoyed the color he saw in his cheeks. Too long Captain Toushiro Hitsugaya had been black and white. It was good to see him showing more than quiet disregard. "How are you doing Rangiku?"

"Oh fine." The titan haired woman strolled to the window and peeked out. "Just fine," she called over her shoulder in her trademark singsong voice. "Now Captain Ukitake, if you'll excuse me."

"By all means."

His curtain fluttered again and Joushiro propped his chin on his fist with a shake of his head. "I'll never get any peace. This is Shunsui's fault."

***

**To be Continued…**


	9. Chapter 8

**PUSH  
**_A Bleach Fanfic  
_1/22/10  
**Chapter 8  
**Summary: Rangiku Matsumoto returns after ten years to find things have changed.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot. The song lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan.

***

The harder Rangiku pushed, the more Toushiro tried to fix things with Hinamori. Momo wasn't happy with being removed from duty. She was still adamant that while Aizen had been her captain he had been perfect so his name should not have been removed from the plaques. It was a pointless argument and Toushiro didn't push for a resolution. He merely tried to remind her that he still cared about her and sometimes he would get through to her, but her eyes never stopped accusing him.

It cut right into his soul.

And his damned lieutenant was ruthlessly determined.

He'd been tossing in his sleep, trying to push his thoughts aside so he could get some rest. It was exam day at the academy. He had lessons to prepare and recruits to test. He couldn't afford to be caught between the two most important women in his life.

He'd almost drifted when Hyorinmaru's warning came. Eyes snapping open, he sat up in bed, tossing the covers off his upper body.

In the slanting light of the moon, he sat still, his hand wrapped around the hilt of his Zanpaktou. Waiting.

Then the familiar scent of her perfume drifted in through his window as did the slight signs of her carefully concealed spiritual pressure.

Furious at the intrusion and lack of sleep fueling his irrationality, Toushiro kicked off his blanket. "Hell with this!" Bare feet padding across the wooden floor, he didn't bother with throwing on his shirt. He stalked straight to his open window.

He didn't have to reach far, she was about to climb inside when he caught her wrist and dragged her inside unceremoniously.

Rangiku squealed like a monkey, the force of his pull propelling her off the branch she'd been perch on and she tumbled into his room in a heap. "OOF!"

"Explain yourself this instant!" He demanded.

Even with the thick strawberry blonde hair obstructing her view, Rangiku caught the full girth of the view that presented itself to her.

Standing in just a pair of drawstring pajamas as white as the tousled hair on his head, stood a shirtless, shoeless Captain Hitsugaya.

_Sweet mother!_ Rangiku stared. _When the hell did he get so fine?_

A snow white eyebrow arched. "Will you kindly stop ogling me and tell me just what the hell you're doing in my room?"

Struggling for words and suddenly feeling hotter even as fine mist wafted from her nose; Rangiku knew he was angry. She swallowed thickly and slid her arm up, taking the curtain of thick hair with it as she took her first unrestricted look at the man. Finely sculpted muscle molded over the lean bone. Arms crossed in his trademark impatient stance, Toushiro Hitsugaya was white marble in the moonlight.

Suddenly Rangiku contemplated the wisdom of her decision to come bother him at night.

Teeth grinding together, Toushiro growled. "Matsumoto…"

"Talk!" The woman squeaked, her head falling back she finally dragged her eyes up to his and held. "I came to talk, but my god Captain! Who'd have thought you'd turn out to be such a stud!"

Incensed beyond comprehension, Toushiro resisted even while his furious indignation melted into exasperation. What was it about Rangiku Matsumoto that wouldn't allow him to remain angry with her? _Hell and damnation_, he lamented inwardly. It was a nuisance! "Matsumoto, this is too inappropriate, even for you."

Now that his innate hotness had begun to assimilate itself into her brain, Rangiku rolled to her feet and dusted herself off. "Yeah well, you didn't exactly give me a choice."

"Why couldn't you wait until morning?"

"You would have rushed out with some new inane little excuse and I would have had to chase you all over the Seireitei." Her ice blue eyes danced with good humor. "I swear Captain, people are beginning to talk."

Contagiously, his own mouth twitched, but thankfully he took it back into control and glared at her for good measure. "You should be concerned about what they're saying about you."

"What can they say that they haven't already?" She shrugged and then took a careful sweep of his room, taking in the simple painting on the wall, the neat desk and the carefully folded clothes.

"Doesn't it bother you?"

Blinking at his question, she strolled around him and dropped onto the edge of his bed. "Nope. Doesn't bother me."

"Matsumoto, they could very well assume you're trying to seduce me."

Leaning her hands on the bed behind her she gave him a bland little smile. "But I am trying to seduce you Captain."

Lax jawed Toushiro took a moment to let the news sink in before he hardened his jaw and hissed. "Get out of my room, right now!"

Snickering at the color in his cheeks, Rangiku fell back on her elbows and winked at him. "Oh come on Captain. Anyone who talks is only spitting sour grapes. I might be a fun girl at parties, but everyone knows I'm a one guy type of gal and right now, that guy is you."

Swallowing hard, Toushiro dragged his eyes away from the suddenly gorgeous picture she presented from her position on his bed and gazed out of his window. He was caught between embarrassed greed and horrified pride. He knew what the woman was offering. He knew what it would mean to take her enticing invitation, but he couldn't. Hinamori was still sleeping in the room next to his.

His eyes widened. "Oh hell! Rangiku!" He hissed and reached out for her arm. "Get out of my room; Momo's sleeping next door."

Giggling at the panicked fear in those teal eyes, she let him haul her back to her feet. In fact, she stumbled for good measure and fell against the solid heat of his chest. The alarm clock toppled off his night stand when her sleeve caught it and landed with a soft thud against his wooden floor.

Instinctively his arms came up around her to hold her steady. Rangiku delighted in his sudden intake of breath as her body slid against his, her arms slipping up around his shoulders and wrapping around his neck. "I've changed my mind," she whispered huskily.

The beautiful woman draped over him, his body betraying him, his heart hammering in his chest, Toushiro could only stare down into those flickering blue eyes. "About what?" His words scratched against his throat, heavy and thick. Damn, but the woman was fine. Every curvy inch of her was soft and firm and terribly inviting. It took herculean effort to keep from clutching her closer.

She was right, Rangiku mused inwardly. Toushiro Hitsugaya was hard as ice, but in a completely masculine and entirely appealing way. Fingers teasing through the longer snow-white strands at the base of his neck, Rangiku sighed softly, her breath wafting over his mouth deliberately. "I like it better when you call me 'Rangiku'."

Toushiro felt the tremble in his bones escalate into an earthquake. "Son of a__"

"Shiro-chan?"

Both people in the moonlit room went deathly still.

As Toushiro's eyes widened in horror, Rangiku's glimmered with growing mirth.

Terror licking at his heels, Toushiro Hitsugaya moved faster than he ever had in his entire life. In one calculated pirouette that could have shamed the most trained of dancers, he had Matsumoto before his window. "Go," he hissed, his hands sliding down to her waist, fingers digging into her traitorous hips for a moment as if memorizing the feel of her. He would have to freezer-burn his fingers off later to forget how soft she was against him. "Go now."

But the woman was a persistent little witch. Her arms tightened around him, her mouth just about pressed against his and Toushiro felt his resolve nearly crumble. "Not until you promise to meet me tomorrow night."

"Shiro-chan, are you okay? I heard something fall."

"No Rangiku!" He tore his hands away from her hips and grabbed her arms, trying to pry them away from his shoulders.

"Promise me," the alluring, crazy woman demanded. "We'll just talk."

If he licked his lips he could taste her.

The groan caught in his chest.

"Toushiro? Are you okay?" The sliding door let out warning squeak as Momo reached to pull it open.

"Yes," he hissed with panicked urgency. "Yes, I'll come. For god's sake, go now!"

Mouth widening into a smile that might have shamed the sun, Rangiku reached up and kissed his nose, then in a flurry of black and pink, she was gone.

Momo stepped into the room to find Toushiro standing before his window, one hand braced on the frame, the other on his knee as he tried to catch his breath. "Um…Toushiro?" She called out to him, hugging her robe tightly around her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah…" He rasped, gritting his teeth to get a control of his wild heart before he lifted his eyes and gazed out into the night. "Yes, I'm fine. It was a dream." Straightening, he turned to see concern in his fiancée's eyes and his heart sank. "Just a dream."

***

Renji Abarai watched the strawberry blond head disappear around the corner before turning to his lieutenant. "You know Rangiku can instill the fear of god in every man with a healthy libido but Captain Hitsugaya's never had that problem. So what's the big deal now?"

Rukia Kuchki was still standing in the doorway from where Rangiku had departed, her eyes following her friend. "Renji you idiot," she glanced at her Captain over her shoulder and rolled her eyes, "it's different now."

The red headed, usually oblivious man scratched his head. "Why?"

Sighing, Rukia bit back a smile as she shook her head. "If I have to tell you, you're as bad as he is."

Sitting cross legged in his captain quarters he'd been discussing strategy with his Lieutenant when Rangiku had come to them with a request. They were two of Rangiku's closest friends. On more than one occasion they'd put their lives on the same line, served together, and been drunk together. But today Rangiku had a special request from Rukia Kuchki. The woman who had fast become the most powerful Shinigami to perfect her Kidou.

Crossing his arms grumpily, Renji grunted. "No one tells me anything." Then he lifted a tattooed eyebrow and smirked at his tiny lieutenant. "Wait, by bad do you mean like badass?"

Rukia wanted to throw her head back at laugh. But watching Rangiku's determination had given her courage. She looked back into the eyes of her childhood friend unflinchingly. "No Renji, I'd say your ass is rather fine."

Mouth agape, by the time Renji realized what she'd said, Rukia had disappeared.

***

**To be Continued…**


	10. Chapter 9

**PUSH  
**_A Bleach Fanfic  
_1/26/10  
**Chapter 9  
**Summary: Rangiku Matsumoto returns after ten years to find things have changed.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot. The song lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan.  
Author's note: I hit my 99th review today :| When I started this I couldn't imagin so many of you would love this. I didn't even know if i could finish it, but now i feel i can. Thank you so much :D I love you all! And just as an after thought, I drew an older Hitsugaya because i was inspired :) Check it out at natasharazi .deviantart .com .

***

Rangiku knew he'd come. A part of her felt guilty for having to use his innate sense of honor against him the way she did. It almost made her feel as if she was as bad as the others. Not giving him a choice, forcing him to do something he didn't want. But Rangiku took solace in the fact that she'd seen his eyes the night before. She'd felt his pulse jump under his skin. Her little captain might have become a man, but she was still Rangiku Matsumoto. She could read telltale hearts. Captain Hitsugaya might not have returned her tender feelings, but he was definitely feeling something. And that was the whole point.

Today she would finally have a chance to give him a choice.

He'd been busy with his work and trainings all day. She hadn't had time to confirm if he was in fact coming, but she'd sent a note telling him she'd meet him in their usual sparring spot.

The woods hadn't changed. The grass was still lush, the trees only whispering with the breeze. It was a quiet spot. Easily used for some privacy and for what Rangiku had him mind, she knew today – no one would hear him scream.

Mouth drifting up into a nefarious little grin, she stood in the clearing and waited.

***

Captain Ukitaki wasn't surprised to find Toushiro Hitsugaya standing beside him on the balcony of the academy where they'd finally finished their reports. "You look troubled my friend."

Toushiro seemed to teeter on the edge of speaking or remaining silent, but then he sighed. "I find myself repulsive."

Ukitake chuckled. "We all find ourselves a little repulsive now and then. But what's your cause for self loathing?"

"I'm caught between my honor and my desires."

A wave of sympathy went through Ukitake. They always kept forgetting that no matter how mature Toushiro was he was still young. "Between what you should do and what you want?"

"Yes."

"Sometimes it's doing what you want that keeps us alive."

"Is that your professional opinion?"

"No Toushiro; it is entirely too personal." Ukitake met those enigmatic teal green eyes.

"Are you mocking me?"

Shaking his head, Ukitake laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. The younger man seemed to be drowning beneath the weight of his thoughts. Ukitake took pity on him. "Never my friend, but it wouldn't hurt to take something for yourself now and then."

"Even if it goes against everything I believe?"

Joushiro's brow creased. "Is loving her really that painful?"

His head snapped around, eyes wide at Ukitake's blunt query. "Who are you talking about?"

"You tell me."

Eyes falling away, Toushiro contemplated his answer. Wincing he ran a hand through his unruly hair. "Depends on who you're talking about." Placing his elbows on the railing he leaned forward watching the laughing people coming in and out of the academy. Starting their lives. Sometimes Toushiro wondered about what all he'd missed when he'd been a child protégé. Maybe he had missed being a child. A teenager. "Loving Momo is like a finely honed knife. But," lifting his aqua eyes he swallowed thickly, "loving Matsumoto is like being tied upside-down to a hurtling train." Joushiro, thankfully didn't laugh. "Either way I'm going to bleed."

"I guess the question is how you want to bleed."

An snowy eyebrow arched. "No; the question is, how not to bleed at all."

Ukitake shrugged before mirroring his stance and looking out to the darkening horizon. "If you don't bleed at all Toushiro. How else will you realize you're alive?"

"I'll pinch myself."

"You're pinching yourself now. Is it working?"

Shoving himself away from the metal rail, the younger Captain crossed his arms moodily. "How very cryptic of you Joushiro. I really want to know the woman who did a number on you."

"Ahhh," the silver haired captain chuckled, a hand on his heart as he laughed. "If only there was one. But I see your dilemma. You want Matsumoto but you don't want to abandon Momo. You'll just have to find a way to keep both."

"How?"

"You're the genius. You'll come up with something."

Grumbling, Toushiro Hitsugaya picked up his white Captain's coat from where he'd discarded it during the time they'd been compiling results. "You're a lota help."

"I cannot help."

Toushiro paused in his departure to glance at Ukitake over his shoulder at the deliberately solemn tone. "Toushiro, you have a choice for the first time in your life. You have to make it alone."

This time the meaning was crystal clear. "She's not giving me a choice," he called back, knowing the woman in question was unquestionably his lieutenant.

"You're wrong my friend." Captain Ukitake's gaze was unflinching. "She's the only one giving you a choice."

Toushiro resisted the need to kick something. The trained him to be the perfect student all his life and now they expected him to play hooky.

***

He wasn't coming.

The sun had set hours ago. She'd sat there, plucking blades of grass while her mind drifted. It drifted over Gin, skated over how hard she'd tried to hold onto him. But every time she came back to the same answer. He'd left her. She'd always thought he could save her, but Toushiro was right. How could she save someone who didn't want to be saved?

Then she thought about Momo. Rangiku had fought beside the woman on countless occasions. The raven haired lieutenant had always been brilliant. She couldn't understand where Momo went wrong. Perhaps she had been in love with Aizen. Perhaps it was more than hero worship. Aizen had spent years messing with her head, but somewhere deep down, Rangiku knew that Momo understood just what Aizen had been. But Momo loved him despite all that. Sometimes love was like that.

For just a moment there in between Rangiku had felt horrified. What if Toushiro really did love the broken girl? Rangiku didn't fool herself into thinking that he merely tolerated her because they grew up together. She knew Toushiro had always felt something special for Momo, but he had been hurt. As had many others because of Aizen the bastard, Toushiro was another victim.

However, Toushiro Hitsugaya could be more than just a victim of the Winter War. Just as Rangiku was more than just a lieutenant, or a drinking buddy, or a soul reaper. She was a woman. That was the only reason she still remained in the clearing.

But now the sun would come up soon and Rangiku wondered if all the sake in the soul society could make the ache in her chest go away.

She had given him a choice and he'd made it.

She had to respect it and him.

With a lamenting little sigh, she rolled up to her feet. She wondered if Madarame was in the mood to get rip roaring drunk.

Rangiku walked back towards the trees when a blur of black and white landed before her in a neat crouch.

"How rude."

Her heart came apart and came together all in one breath when he straightened. It took her a moment to take in the man standing in front of her. His Captain's Coat over his arm, he stood there in their all black uniform, his hair catching into icy fire in the moonlight. She debated the wisdom of having this conversation where the moon could play such wicked tricks on his hair and skin. Tonight, she couldn't allow her control to slip.

When the usually verbose woman didn't speak, Toushiro raised a cocky, snowy eyebrow. "First I'm invited, and then I'm abandoned?"

"You?" Galvanized by his accusation at the odd confidence in his stance, Rangiku planted her hands on her hips. "I had thought you'd changed your mind and I'd have to spend the night getting drunk with Ikkaku."

His brow darkened. It troubled Toushiro that the notion struck all sorts of vengeful little chords in him. In fact, he had merry visions of breaking bones in case the unfortunate event did occur. This sort of possessiveness was new for the young Captain. It was downright unwelcome. "You were going to go get drunk?"

"Duh! You ditched me. I was distraught!"

He frowned, ignoring her rather obvious finger pointing. "With Madarame?"

An eyebrow arched, instantly intrigued. "Why? Does that bother you?"

"No."

"Really?"

"…"

"Wow," Rangiku's smile grew wider in awe. "It does bother you."

Scowling, Toushiro walked past her and deeper into the clearing. "Don't be ridiculous!"

The woman didn't bother muffling her delighted giggle. "Oh my god, Captain! I'm flattered! But you needn't worry." She winked when he glared at her over his shoulder. "You know I'm only hot for you."

"Matsumoto!" The eyebrow began to twitch already. "Will you kindly keep such news to yourself?"

"You made a woman wait for you till dawn; you have to take some bashing for it."

He was silent for a few seconds. "I wasn't going to come at all," he finally admitted.

To his horror the woman broke into exaggerated cheer, clapping her hands together gleefully. "Oh that makes me feel so much better."

With a grunt, he turned to gaze up at the lightening horizon. "And why should I have? You only mean to harass me further."

"Harass is such a dirty word. Do you know any more?"

Spinning around, he groaned. "Matsumoto, please!"

Then Toushiro nearly stumbled when in a single flash step, she was before him, her usually beguiling eyes entirely too seductive. "Anything you want," she offered huskily.

Struck dumb by her sudden change in demeanor at her proximity, he stared down at her like an idiot. "Ahh…what do you mean?"

"You said please."

"I…did?"

She nodded, eyes blatantly flirting with his. "What would please you?"

Hell. How was he supposed to answer that without provoking her further? But then he noticed the way her lips were so pink. Pink and inviting. He didn't realize it as he licked his own and swallowed thickly. It was when her mouth twitched with silent laughter that he jerked away from her with a glare. "Stop it. I'm stronger than this."

Sometimes Toushiro Hitsugaya made Rangiku Matsumoto want to scream. And not in a good way. "I'd like to think you're stronger for this," she corrected him with a sigh. "Come on Captain Hitsugaya, tell me what's on your mind. I promised we'd talk today and we will."

"I don't want to talk."

"Then why are you here?"

At the quick challenging question, he felt his blood begin to heat. "This was a bad idea," he muttered quickly and headed back towards the trees.

"Stop!"

Pausing in his flight, the man turned slowly. Deliberately. Incredulously. One snowy eyebrow raised at the sharp tone of her voice. "That sounded like a command."

Her smirk was wicked. "It was."

His brow darkened. "Do you realize who you're talking to?"

"Of course I do," she reassured him, once again in her musical manner. Joining her hands together piously, she offered him a safe smile. It did nothing to reassure him. "Which is why, I had already anticipated that you would try to escape."

For a moment he thought he'd heard her wrong. "Escape?"

"Exactly!" The woman looked positively gleeful. "So I prepared ahead. Of course if you hadn't shown up, it would have been all in vain, but you're here and that's enough for me." All red flags inside Toushiro's head went up in arms as the woman planted her hands on her waist indomitably. "You Captain Hitsugaya have been issued the day of tomorrow and are to be immediately kidnapped for your own good."

His mouth dropped open. "Matsumoto, have you been in the sake already?"

"I understand that this may be a little troubling, but I have taken the liberty of sealing your spiritual pressure with Kidou for the remainder of the day."

"You what!?" He took a threatening step forward, having merry visions of throttling her, but sure enough, his limbs were heavier and he realized why he'd felt so unbalanced when he'd stepped into the clearing. It wasn't Matsumoto, it was her mojo! "Rangiku, I demand that yoUAWO!" Something stung him at the back of his neck and he slapped a hand over it. Pulling away the offending thing he was shocked to find a tiny, feathered needle between his fingers. He stared at the bright pink feather then raised horrified eyes to his smug lieutenant. "Matsumoto, I'm going to ki…" But before he could issue the threat swimming in his head, he felt his world spin out of control. Something soft and lush wrapped around him, but Captain Hitsugaya was already disappearing into darkness.

***

**To be Continued…**


	11. Chapter 10

**PUSH  
**_A Bleach Fanfic  
_2/3/10  
**Chapter 10  
**Summary: Rangiku Matsumoto returns after ten years to find things have changed.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot. The song lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan.  
**Author's Note:** Sorry it took me longer than usual to update. Also someone pointed out that I accidentally put in Lieutenant Ise's name instead of Isane's in Squad 4. What can I say? I plead temporary insanity :P Sorry!

***

Rangiku grunted. "Dammit Abarai, will you stop pulling him!"

An unconscious Captain Hitsugaya swayed before he was righted as Renji adjusted himself.

Rukia couldn't help lift a hand to her mouth to muffle her giggles. It was downright adorable.

Rangiku and Renji were carefully maneuvering the listless man towards the apartment door. Again, she couldn't help marvel at Rangiku's bravado. Of all the Captains that struck fear into the hearts of grown men, Hitsugaya was high on the list. She was related to the other, and Kenpachi didn't count – He scared everything.

To see Rangiku brave his wrath was indeed commendable. "You realize Rangiku that once he wakes up, he's going to kill you."

"With his bare hands; he can't," the woman snorted as she slid her key into the door and kicked it open. "I bet Haineko is salivating at being left behind with Hyourinmaru. I'm really doing everyone here a favor. Through here Renji and watch the corner table."

"Sheesh Ran, how much of the sedative did you give him?"

"You're the one who shot him!"

"Hey! You promised, you'd never tell him it was me!"

"Or me," Rukia piped in. "I hear freezing to death is very painful."

"Cowards," Rangiku grumbled before letting out a shriek as Renji nearly stumbled. "Renji Abarai, I swear if you bruise ANYTHING on this man, I will dish so much dirt on you, you'd never be able to hold your head up high!"

The room went deathly silent.

Then Rukia rushed up to the titan haired woman. "I will give you a bottle of my brother's special blend if you promise to dish some dirt on him once this is over."

"RUKIA!"

Captain Hitsugaya hit the couch face first and lay there in an unattractive sprawl as Rangiku contemplated the worth of Rukia's offer.

"TWO bottles."

"Rangiku! Don't you dare!" Renji nearly climbed over the unconscious man.

"Make it three and you have a deal."

"NO!"

"Done!" The petite woman smirked, her violet eyes trained grimly on her Captain as she caught his sleeve. "Word of advice Rangiku, the Kidou spell on his gigai will last the remainder of the day. If Cinderella doesn't get a clue, I suggest the following with great emphasis."

Rangiku lifted an eyebrow at the foreboding tone.

"Run like hell," Rukia threw over her shoulder with a wink and dragged the sputtering redhead out.

Rangiku took a deep fortifying breath. The butterflies in her stomach would just have to give it rest; she was too far deep to run now. Gently, almost tenderly, Rangiku turned the unconscious man on the couch and smoothed back the rebellious lock of hair that always fell over his forehead. "You're so much trouble Toushiro," she whispered and placed his hands carefully on his chest. With a wistful little smile, she kicked off her slippers and headed to her kitchen.

She was halfway through her pasta and finishing brewing the green tea when she heard the sharp intake of breath across the counter that separated her kitchen from the living room.

Peeking around the overhead lamp she saw him sitting on the couch in a cloud of bewilderment. For just a moment she watched him pat himself to decipher his state. The lost little boy look was so poignantly familiar that Rangiku nearly came out to tell him he was safe. But then, the teal green eyes flashed with recollection and he stiffened. "Rangiku," he bit out her name menacingly before rising up to his feet.

Ducking back into the kitchen, she pretended to be humming gently under her breath as she stirred the pasta sauce. Behind her, she heard his bare feet purposefully march across her plush carpet and towards the kitchen. "Dammit Matsumoto, you had better…" She smiled when his furious demand trailed off into mystification. "What are you doing?"

Spinning around, Rangiku feigned surprise before smiling widely. "Captain! You're awake!" As if it was the most normal thing in the world to have him wake up in her apartment, she tossed her loose strawberry blond hair over one shoulder and walked over to hand him the steaming mug of green tea.

Toushiro had been rendered speechless.

Although, he took the cup from her without a word, Rangiku didn't miss the flash of approval and honest fear as he took in her appearance. She'd chosen a simple blue sweater that brought out the color of her eyes and old blue jeans.

But Rangiku was never old and simple with anything. The sweater although lose on her was cashmere and hung completely off one shoulder. It slopped tantalizing over her breasts before hanging lopsidedly around her tapered waist. The faded jeans fastened low on her hips, hugged every curve of her long legs in just right places.

Together, her ensemble was deceptively revealing and the force of it hit Toushiro like a fist in his gut. No amount of revealed skin could be as sinful. But then he knew Rangiku Matsumoto could make a nun's habit look scandalous. Like a blithering idiot he stared at the sneaky peek of skin at the woman's waist. Fingers burning around the hot mug of green tea, the grown man stared in horror at the punishment that had been laid out for him.

A complete day without Shunpu and this woman would drive him mad.

"Ahh…Captain?" Rangiku allowed herself a pang of concern. The poor man looked about ready to faint. She couldn't help step closer and wrap her hands around the tightened fist holding the mug, trying to gently pry his fingers loose. Looking up into eyes that were perpetually trained on the creamy shoulder, Rangiku called out to him. "Toushiro?"

Startled at the sound of his name on her lips, his eyes snapped up to her concerned ones and held. "What the hell are you doing?" He whispered hoarsely, almost beseechingly.

The woman tilted her head and raised a humoring eyebrow. "I'm making us dinner."

"Dammit Matsumoto, that's not what I'm asking!"

The hand underneath hers was twitching as was the eyebrow. With a defeated sigh, Rangiku pulled away the mug and placed it on the kitchen counter. His hand was already reddening. Pulling him deeper into the kitchen, she grabbed a wash cloth and held it under the cold water. "I was hungry and I thought you'd at least give me some company." With tender care, she helped the calloused hand between hers, soothing the irritated skin with the cold damp cloth.

Any complaint of reprimand that he'd been planning in his head forgotten, he watched the crown of her head as she tended to his hand. It didn't hurt, but it sure as hell tingled where she blew over it; sending ripples of sensation through him. The need to reach out and touch her was nearly painful. He realized his question had been pointless. He knew what she was up to, what he didn't know was what the hell he was doing. She'd manipulated him, drugged him and dragged him to a house that smelled of her. He knew this is where she'd lived all those years. What eluded Captain Toushiro Hitsugaya was why he wasn't yelling at her, or demanding to be returned, or bothered by her obvious deception.

Unable to keep up his charade, his hand shook off the gentle stroking before wrapping around herwrist. "Look at me Matsumoto."

The woman stilled under the commanding heat of his voice and hand. He didn't sound angry. Taking refuge in that fact, she slowly lifted her ice blue eyes. "I made pasta."

Toushiro suddenly didn't give a damn about what he'd been about to ask her. In fact he didn't remember why he'd asked her to look at him, but now that she was, there was only one thing he wanted. "Hell with the pasta." One arm snaking around her trim waist he dragged her against him, his hand tangling in the thick mass of strawberry hair at her nape, and finally kissed her.

Maybe Rangiku had expected him to resist a little while longer. Maybe she hadn't realized just how much he'd grown. Perhaps she thought she was in control, but Toushiro Hitsugaya's impromptu kiss stole everything from her.

Her moan was startled, but hardly a protest. Instant heat flared under every inch of her skin as his mouth pressed against her with a silent hunger that was intrinsic to the man she'd come to know. Beneath all the ice was the fiery passion of his will and that was the reason Rangiku Matsumoto had fallen in love with him. It was the reason she'd waited all these years. The reason for all her heartache; for being lost.

But now she was found.

And he was worth the wait.

The hand at her waist fisted in the baby soft sweater, his body instinctively rolling forward when she clung to him. This wasn't fumbling with Momo. This was much stronger and darker than anything he'd ever felt before. The slip and slide of her mouth and tongue was electric; the need to climb right into her soul was near palpable. Every moment spent wondering why grown men fell over themselves for this woman was wasted. Rangiku Matsumoto was fire.

When her back hit the cold metal of her refrigerator, Rangiku's mouth parted on a gasp that was more pleasure than surprise. The sleek girth of his body followed, pressed harder and her mouth was plundered. For a man as sheltered as he had been, Rangiku was not prepared for the skill or strength of his kiss. Mouth slanting on hers, he released her bunched sweater edge to slip the rough tipped fingers over the soft smooth skin of her spine.

Rangiku shuddered, her breath hitching in her chest when the evidence of his desire moved smoothly between her thighs and her teeth sank into his bottom lip.

It was too much.

Hissing out a breath, Toushiro drew back as fire licked at every nerve ending he possessed.

The woman suckled gently on his lower lip in a silent apology before releasing it with a possessive little lick.

Captain Toushiro Hitsugaya was burning. A man usually sheathed in ice, he was suddenly too alive. Too real.

Even if his body still hummed with tension, his hormones still raged, his heart racing, Toushiro took a moment to absorb where he was. He relished the feel of the breathless woman beneath him. He gratified in the reclaimed reins of control. Pressed against the cold metal of her refrigerator the usually composed, teasing woman stared up at him in a pleasantly hazy daze. Her blue eyes glistened like his finest ice crystals, her hair like tumbling flames over his arm – he'd never seen her more beautiful. It dragged the wide, satisfied grin from him before he could smother it. "Fire and ice – I should have known," he murmured roughly against her cheek, nuzzling against the soft, heated skin.

Comprehension prickled across her conscience and Rangiku tightened her arms around him, the hand that had found itself in his snowy hair tightened enough to make a point. If she had surrendered, it didn't mean he wasn't taken.

Her nails dragging tantalizingly over his scalp nearly caused his eyes to cross. Nothing felt this damn good. Not even…

Oh hell.

Rangiku would always remember the exact moment he began to slip away. It was in the hardening of his entire being. He seemed to physically brace himself for what was about to come. But even though she had warning, it didn't hurt less.

The man begrudgingly drew away from the most important woman in his life. The irony of it wasn't lost on him.

Rangiku took a shuddering breath, her emotions threatening to spill over. How long was she supposed to keep beating this into him?

"Matsumoto, kindly release me."

"You're the one who started this," once the words were out, Rangiku realized how scathing they were. Her breath still harsh, mouth still branded with his, she glared up at him, good and pissed off. "Are you going to leave me to deal with this alone?"

"I'm not leaving," he growled low under his breath, hating himself for the sudden change he'd caused in the beautiful woman. He hated how she seemed wounded. "I need you to let go."

"Coward."

Stilling under the sting of her accusation, his eyes drifted down to meet hers. "Let. Go. Now."

"You coward!" Hissing with fury, Rangiku bodily shoved him away from herself. Propelled by the sheer force of her anger, Toushiro was across the kitchen in a leap, his back hitting the separating counter across.

"Release my power, now."

She wanted to throw something at him. To hurt him. It was nearly destroying, but she fisted her hands beside her and held his skittish gaze. "No."

The man seemed to shudder as she tried to reclaim his spiritual pressure, but Rukia's seal was strong. Perhaps not stronger, but Rangiku intercepted his attempt by taking a step closer. His attention was instantly back on her. "You don't have to marry her to help her Toushiro."

"Captain Hitsugaya!"

Rolling her eyes, the woman snorted. "Are you talking to yourself? Because while you were kissing me against the refrigerator like you'd never stop, Captain Hitsugaya went south."

For a breath he stared at her audacious innuendo, hating and loving her for it. "That was a mistake. It won't happen again."

Mouth twisting up into a challenge she took another step closer to him. "Care to test that theory?"

The need to run was as strong as his need to drag her back into his arms. But running wasn't an option. And it wasn't because he couldn't. He realized the only way she'd relent was if she understood. "I have to do this Matsumoto."

"You don't HAVE to do anything."

"I gave my word to protect her."

"And who the hell is stopping you?"

He blinked at her question. "What do you mean?"

"How will marrying her make her safe?"

"If I abandon her now, she'll shatter!"

"By not marrying her you're not abandoning her. And she's a lot stronger than you give her credit for," Rangiku walked towards the stove and turned off the heat, lest it boil over. "She's standing up to the whole Seireitei for what she believes in."

"What she believes is a farce!"

At the snarling reply, Rangiku glanced at him over her shoulder. "It doesn't matter what you think." Turning back towards him, she regarded him deliberately. "You want to help Momo? Let her stand on her own two feet. Let her live her life the way she wants to. She's had enough people trying to live it for her as it is."

The ice was back in his eyes in an instant. "How dare you," his voice dropped, low and deadly.

"Why?" the woman shrugged. "They've driven you most of your life, why can't they do the same to her?" She held up a hand when his frame nearly shook with restrained anger. "No, don't get angry with me Toushiro. I'm not saying you let them do this to you. But the Seireitei, it tangles you too much into what's right and wrong. The good, the bad, and sometimes we forget we're still people. Dead, but people. No one is all good or bad. No one can always make the right choice. We all have flaws. You think Captain Kuchki's any perfect? He nearly let his sister die for the sake of his honor."

He wished he could deny every single claim. Wished, but couldn't.

"Listen to me Toushiro, I'm not pushing you because I want you."

He looked up sharply. Aquamarine eyes unsettled.

Rangiku wanted to throw her arms around him. "I do want you," she reassured him. "But the reason I keep pushing for you to let Momo go is because it makes you sad and I love you too much to let you do that to yourself." She took a deep breath and ploughed on. "I'm not trying to tell you what you want. I'm only giving you a choice."

The ominously familiar words were jarring. He could hear Ukitake laughing his ass of in the background somewhere. "Some choice; do or die."

"Who's killing you?"

"YOU are!" He cried out in frustration, throwing up his hands, he began to pace. Something he hadn't done in years. "Dammit Rangiku, my life was normal until you came back."

"But as boring as underwear," she muttered.

Screeching to a halt, his teal green eyes narrowed menacingly at her. "Matsumoto!"

Exasperated with his constant evasiveness, Rangiku turned back to her sauce and began to stir it with dogmatic determination. "You're so damned stubborn Toushiro."

"That's Captain Hitsugaya!"

"Captain Hitsugaya!" Spinning around, she glared at him. "How long are you going to keep denying what you want!?"

"This isn't what I want!" He threw back with just as much force.

The woman didn't even flinch. She didn't look hurt. She looked disappointed.

A hand sliced through his already disheveled hair and he sighed, defeated. "No that's not entirely honest. This is exactly what I want." He saw the flare of joy on her pretty face and shook his head. "Don't do this to me Rangiku," he pleaded softly.

Did she have to do everything? Rolling her eyes, she huffed.

The woman allowed him a moment to brood, and then she took a bold step towards him, her hands sliding up over the black collared t-shirt, tracing the hard line of muscle underneath. "Toushiro, I think it's about time someone did this to you. Now shut up and take it like a man."

***

**To be Continued…**


	12. Chapter 11

**PUSH  
**_A Bleach Fanfic  
_2/22/2010  
**Chapter 11  
**Summary: Rangiku Matsumoto returns after ten years to find things have changed.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot. The song lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan.  
_Author's Note: I know I've been gone long. But I was struggling with this chapter. I finally decided I'm going to post the T-rate version here with this story. If anyone wants to read the version I was struggling with :P and won't flame me for the smut, you're welcome to check it out on my profile._

***

It was true that Rangiku Matsumoto was bold. She wasn't born with courage, but she'd never been afraid. Not living. Not dying. Not with Gin and certainly not with the formidable Captain now gazing wearily down at her.

Fingers slipping back down to the erratic beat beneath his gigai's chest, she pushed.

The man stumbled clumsily in his human shell and fell back against the counter, his hands catching the edge in time to catch himself. "Hell! Rangiku wha__" His protest trailed off as the determination in Rangiku's eyes flared into sharp hunger. He'd seen her in her full on teasing mode, but the proverbial Hellcat was now out of the bag.

He had to admit. He'd been emotionally lost the moment her mouth touched his from that moment on. As for Rangiku, she indulged in a sharp little reminder that set Gin's kisses apart from her captain. Where Gin had been all feral animal magnetism, Tourshiro had an intense sensuality that she was only beginning to comprehend. There was an inherent intelligence that allowed him to be exceptionally perceptive. He softened when the woman against him hardened with desire but he always held back.

Now, he surrendered.

And Toushiro Hitsugaya became the kiss. Sword hardened fingers sifted and locked in the soft hair at the nape of her neck, his mouth completely covering hers, his tongue sliding all over her lips and teeth and pressing against her own tongue. For a man born in ice, the kiss certainly didn't lack fire. If the previous kiss had been helpless, this one was purposeful and for just a moment Rangiku wondered what she was getting herself into.

She had to get the reigns away from him. Her hand reached behind him on the marble counter and withdrew the glistening steel knife.

Instinctively, the wrist caught hers with a flash of apprehension in his teal eyes.

Rangiku's mouth quirked up in one corner, one eye winking at him. "Worried Captain?"

He debated the wisdom of allowing her this much leverage, then his curiosity got the better of him. Grip loosening, he watched her lower the knife between their bodies before the edge slipped up under the hem of his shirt. Unconsciously he sucked in a breath, his gaze darkening with a warning that had nothing to do with her blatant show of dominance. It had everything to do with reminding her she'd be paid in kind.

The blunt edge of the blade raised gooseflesh on his skin before the knife rose, cutting open his shirt from belly to neck. "I might need that later."

"No you won't," the woman purred, tossing the blade back onto the counter before her hands smoothed down the expanse of his shoulders and arms taking the tattered shirt with them. His skin jumped underneath her touch, the muscles in his arms flexing to keep from grabbing her to him.

"What are you doing?"

"Trust me Toushiro. I've been thinking about this for a long time," she whispered, kissing her way up his neck on her way up to his ear. "There's no way you're cheating me out of my fun."

He pulled back just enough to speak. "This is fun?"

Hand already drinking in each curve and slant of his chest, she offered him a coy smile up into his ever brooding eyes. "Are you worried I'm only in it for the fun?"

His lips pressed in a thin line. He didn't think it, but a part of him worried.

Her fingertip pressed against his mouth as if to halt his apprehensions and she held his gaze unflinchingly. "I meant it when I said it Captain."

"Rangiku__"

With an incensed little humph the woman leaned forward and kissed him until he was soft and pliant against her again. "I love you. I'm sure. Now shut up and kiss me again."

But the frown remained and he finally voiced his fears. "You were sure about him."

Rangiku pulled away to focus on his face and put as much earnestness into her next words as she could. "No Toushiro, I was never sure about Gin. I spent every moment with him fearing that he'd leave me. You, I was always sure of. So sure that I followed you past him without a thought." She touched his cheek. "I'm sorry I left you Captain Hitsugaya. You've been the one certain thing in my life. No matter how much I change, or the world changes, you're always there beside me."

"Until you weren't."

Talking was one thing - angsting was another, and Captain Hitsugaya was the king of angst. How he could be so certain of himself on a battlefield and so uncertain off it, she'd never understand. "I left, but I'm back now and I really, really want to get your clothes off so I can see what's underneath."

"Matsumoto!"

His mouth came down hard on her. Hungry and insistent. Filled with longing and love and desire. The same fire that burnt in her belly. Hands and lips kissing and touching every inch of skin they could reach before she was lifted onto the hard polished surface of the counter and he climbed up after her. With the last remaining clothes on the floor, they slid, grinded, moaned and teased each other to madness and back. And in the sparkling morning light they made love.

When breath returned and Rangiku's throat loosened from the scream she'd been chocking, she gasped against his ear. His own breath hot and harsh against her neck, his body completely pinned her to the countertop. Unable to help himself, Toushiro spoke softly in a breathless whisper. "I love you."

***

It was the sound of the rasping zipper that pulled her from the darkness of her sleep. With the evening sunlight slanting through her huge bedroom windows she saw the golden light wash over the rippling muscles in his bad as he dressed.

Hazily, Rangiku lifted up to her elbows and frowned at the silently dressing man. "Toushiro?"

The back stiffened before turning and Rangiku's heart sank at the icy resolve in those aquamarine eyes. His spiritual pressure hummed strongly around him.

He was leaving.

Her mind snapped into focus as she sat up; holding the white sheet to her chest, heart clenching painfully. "You're still going to marry her."

"Matsumoto, don't," he began, then left it there. Staying would be worse than leaving; he wouldn't change, and she couldn't. Leaving was best. They couldn't go back to the way they were. It would be easier if she hated him.

"Did you mean it?" she asked, in spite of his protest.

Toushiro was afraid to answer her. There was only one answer and he didn't know if he could or was willing to acknowledge his confession from last night. He had to leave. For his sake. For her own.

He couldn't be her Captain and...whatever they were now.

"Talk to me while we still can," she finished perceptively.

She was beautiful, even with her brow furrowed, and he looked away finally "I can't stay," he said, not looking back, voice a little hard. "But I don't want to go."

She laughed. Avoidance was back with a vengeance. It wasn't funny, but she couldn't help it. It was cutting into her soul. "How incredibly selfish of you my Captain," she shook her head. "You can but you won't."

"Something like that," he muttered ruefully, trying to ignore the way her bitter laugh raised the hair at the back of his nape.

"What are my choices, Hitsugaya?" She took his name without its title and suddenly Toushiro was lost.

"What do you mean?"

"What do you want from me?"

His own question, turned on him, threw him off his kilter. He wanted her. It was that simple. He loved her, but he was caught within his duty. The young man stumbled over words in his head. Not knowing what he had to say to make everything right, but he knew nothing could give back what he'd taken from her.

"I don't want to fight with you Matsumoto," he allowed softly.

"I asked you what you want, not what you don't."

"In the end, it's all the same."

Rangiku was terrified that she wouldn't be able to be put back together if she broke now. She considering the wisdom of fleeing rather than staying there to find out how badly her heart was about to get shredded. Drawing her knees to her chest, she wrapped her arms around them. "You're still running away."

A sigh and he ran a hand through his wild snowy hair. "You offered knowing I'd marry someone else tomorrow."

"I was confident you wouldn't marry anyone else."

He watched her for a heartbreaking moment. "I can't stay," he spoke finally.

She held his gaze, unblinking despite the insane shudders that threatened to topple her. "I can."

He shook his head. "Don't wait for me Rangiku. I am going down to the council with Hinamori today and marrying her."

There was a sharp stab of pain across her pretty face, but she didn't speak.

He wanted nothing more than to hold her. Reassure her, but he couldn't. Hating himself for his weakness where this woman was concerned, Toushiro hardened his jaw. "Don't wait for me. I won't come back."

"I'll wait anyway."

"Then you'll be waiting all night."

Her smile was helplessly sad. "Silly captain...for you, I'd wait forever."

The cerulean eyes flickered once with inscrutable longing and then in a flicker of his spiritual pressure he left Rangiku staring into the eyes of his confused gigai.

Tears burned behind her eyes, but didn't dare shed any. She should have known Toushiro Hitsugaya was intense about everything he committed himself to. Even if it was going to destroy him.

***

**To be Continued…**


	13. Chapter 12

**PUSH  
**_A Bleach Fanfic  
_1/10/10  
**Chapter 12**

Summary: Rangiku Matsumoto returns after ten years to find things have changed.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot. The song lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan.  
**Author's Note:** _I'm sorry guys that I've been gone so long. Not only was I buried under work, but suffering from the worst bout of writer's block. Thanks so much for sticking with me. This will be the second last chapter. I hope I can finish this as soon as possible :P Even I want to just end it now. Again, thanks for all your support and putting up with me. The last part I want to do really well since I want to do justice to all your reviews. Luvs!_

If Toushiro thought he'd hide successfully, he shouldn't have bothered telling Joushiro he was back. He should have known that telling the silver haired captain would spark a reaction when Matsumoto didn't return. And she hadn't. Half the day had gone by and then Shunsui found him.

The sliding door to his office slapped into the door frame making the entire wall shudder. "Are you out of your MIND?"

Sighing, the younger shinigami laid down his brush and prayed for patience. "Please, Captain Kyouraku."

"Please what?" The pink robed Captain prowled into the room, nearly vibrating with anger as he bore down menacingly over Toushiro's desk. "Please let me make the biggest damned mistake a man can make? Dammit boy! Do you have any idea how long eternity really is?"

Miffed at the reference to his age, Toushiro wished they'd let up on the barbs at least on his wedding day. "I have an idea."

The hands smacked against the table top, the ink pot spilling across the papers he'd been working on. Deliberatly. "No Toushiro, you don't."

Drawing a breath for calm, he slowly lifted his aqua gaze to his irate friend. "I do not need a lecture today."

The brown eyes were flashing with fury and a hint of disappointment, Toushiro was troubled to note. "You need a swift kick in the ass is what you need!"

A nerve twitched in his temple as Captian Hitsugaya, lifted his ruined report and reached for the box of tissue papers, but it was snatched away. The temperature pitched low in the room as Toushiro rose out of his chair. "I am in no mood for your games today."

"Did you even love her?"

The question caught him by surprise. He didn't even need to know who the question referred to. For either, he had no answer. "I owe you no explanation."

"Did u give one to Lieutenant Matsumoto? Or do u not owe her either?"

Unavoidably provoked Toushiro growled low under his breath. A warning. "Leave her out of this."

"Why?" The persistent man snorted, pulling away to cross his arms as he glared down his nose at the younger man. "The damn woman's smack in the middle of this! She is the reason you're running with your tail between your legs."

"Captain Kyourako! You go too far!"

"Someone needs to knock some sense into you," Shunsui countered with a vile little smile Toushiro had never seen on the man. "You don't scare me, little boy."

When white mist wafted out of his nose, Shunsui only had time enough to blink and mutter, "oh shit!"

And then Toushiro Hitsugya had thrown him down.

Head Captain Yamamoto was walking through the streets of the Seireitei enjoying the summer morning. The breeze was sweet. He'd wrapped up his work early for the day so that he could roam freely. The guards and his Lieutenant dutifully followed, vigilant but also silently taking in the fresh scent of cherry blossoms.

Yamamoto reminisced of younger days and the pleasant feminine laughter of his sweet wife.

Yes, he concluded with a deep satisfied sigh. It was a nice day.

KABOOOM!

Yamamoto barely had enough time to mutter an uncharacteristic curse under his breath as the entire wall of the Squad Ten compound blew out into the street while his guards and Lieutenant went into a frenzy to protect him.

They were under attack!

The Head Captain was shielded instantly. He was about to send for a hell butterfly to alert his captains but then the ruble that had blown clear across the street shifted and one Shunsui Kyouraku rose out of it with a menacing snarl. "GET BACK HERE YOU SKINNY LITTLE RUNT!"

The guards around him were stupefied as their usually lazy captain sprinted back through the large hole in the compound wall muttering unattractively about stupid boys.

The Head Captain only stared at the hole before his long beard twitched.

Twitching meant he was good and mad.

Pushing his Lieutenant out of the way, he struck his walking stick into the ground and stalked towards the clear sound of a scuffle that involved some very powerful spiritual pressure. Picking up his robes, the old man stepped across the fallen stone and concrete and finally took in the scene that was laid out for him.

Two of his best and unfortunately fully grown Captains were tangled up in the dirt like four year old street urchins, arms locked around each other's necks in a wrestling match.

The junior members of the Seireitei stared in horrified awe.

Head Captain Yamamoto gave another twitch of his big mustache then stepped forward and whacked them both on the head with the thick end of was walking stick. "Cease!"

The two shinigami rolled away from each other to face their assailant and winced. Straightening to their full height, they now stood side by side before their senior, embarrassed color dusting their cheeks.

Yamamoto huffed. "Has the entire seireitei gone mad! What is the meaning of this?"

Instantly the two hands pointed to each other. "He started it!"

Shaking his head, the older Shinigami touched his throbbing temple. The nice day had exploded into a full blown migraine. "How you can live a thousand years and still act like children, I will never know." His brow darkened with disappointment. "How do you expect to lead your squads and set an example when you are bickering amongst yourselves?"

Captain Histugaya recovered first. Feeling rightfully chastised he bowed. "I apologize, Head Captain."

Shunsui on the other hand dusted his favorite pink robe and adjusted his hat over his head. "If someone had kicked him around when he was small he wouldn't be acting like an idiot today."

"I was not small!" The younger Captain bristled. "I was young."

"Whatever, boy."

"I am not..."

"Enough!" The command thundered through the squad and everything fell silent. Event the soft scented breeze hid away. "Put them both in confinement."

"What!" The aghast exclamation came in unison.

"If u cannot act your mantle you will be punished according to your behavior," Lifting one hand, Yamamoto motioned for his Lieutenant. "Take them away."

The white haired shinigami stared in horror. "I'm getting married today!"

Yamamoto snorted low under his breath. "You should have thought of that before behaving like imbeciles." Muttering the Head Captain decided perhaps he should have stayed just stayed in bed today.

As the guards lead the two Captains away Shunsui couldn't help smirk.

Toushiro Hitsugaya didn't miss it. "I hate you."

The nerve was constantly throbbing in his temple.

"Tch! Will you stop fretting? Momo Mayhem won't kill you for being late."

The snowy haired Captain turned with deliberate slowness, his face completely deadpan. "I won't be late. I will be ABSENT!"

Reclined on the bench, Captain Kyouraku tipped his hat lower, his mouth caught into a satisfied smile. "Quit your whining kid. You'll thank me tomorrow."

Hands forming into claws and Hyourinmaru's constant egging on to kick his ass, Toushiro was barely able to reign in his anger. He'd broken her heart. He'd squashed his damned pride and selfishness and for what! So he could miss his wedding and be blamed for having no honor, when it was his damned honor he was out on a limb for!

The cell was silent for a while. Eventually Toushiro's homicidal urge was under wraps. Sitting cross legged on the bench he wondered what Matsumoto was doing. The mere thought of her was like a knife twisting in his chest. He would never see her again.

"Did you tell her?"

Blinking out of his aching memories the younger Captain frowned at his cellmate. "What do you mean?"

"Did you at least tell her how you feel?" Bringing his hands up behind his head, Shunsui lounged back as if he wasn't lying on a hard board and serving time. "Otherwise all this drama would be pointless."

It did occur to Toushiro that his companion hadn't inquired what it was that he felt for the woman in question. This time there was no mistaking whom the man was referring to. "Yes."

"And she couldn't make you stay?"

Toushiro flinched at the accurate slap of his words. "I didn't stay."

The languid Captain snorted unattractively. "Pointless honor. You're deceiving them both." The stillness around them was proof enough. Captain Shunsui Kyouraku's aim was as perfect as ever. "You deceive Rangiku by telling her you love her and deceive Momo by not telling her that you don't."

There was a clank of metal sliding into metal and Shunsui tipped his hat back and met the famous enigmatic teal eyes. "You don't deserve her my friend."

This time Toushiro had a feeling the statement was deliberately vague. And then he realized why. Because framed outside the bar of their prison were two lieutenants. Their lieutenants. His lieutenant. Rangiku Matsumoto.

Nanao was rightly exasperated as she opened the door and inspected her bruised superior. "I had half a mind to leave you rotting in here," she muttered under her breath as the tall man rose from his perch with a lofty smile.

"Ahh but my sweet Nanao, the other prompted you to flee to my arms."

"UFF!" The tiny woman grunted as her Captain draped himself over her in pretense of being more hurt than he was. "Captain Kyouraku, will you please behave yourself!"

Through their usual exchange Toushiro hadn't taken his eyes of the titan haired woman calmly waiting for Nanao as she maneuvered her snickering Captain out of their cell.

Despite the lovely display of unashamed acting, Shunsui shot one last look at Toushiro and threw back another quip. "You're a fool."

The ice blue eyes lifted to the silent man still waiting in the cell. They all thought Matsumoto had a special smile. Nothing could bring her down. But today Rangiku Matsumoto's face was impassive. Nothing belied the turmoil of her thoughts. "I had you released."

Toushiro still didn't move.

The woman took a slow breath, the only indication of her impatience. "If you hurry, you can still make it to the ceremony."

For the first time in his entire life Toushiro had the urge to defy all reason and gather the woman into his arms. To hold her to him and disappear where no one could find them. The urge was so strong, so palpable, he couldn't help meet her cold gaze and ask, "Why?"

The woman swallowed visibly. "Because I'm still your lieutenant. I left you once before and I swore I wouldn't leave your side again."

"Despite this?"

"Despite everything," she promised and then her gaze skittered away with a flash of moisture. "You should go now."

He slowly walked past her, the scent of cinnamon and chrysanthemums filling his head with what ifs. For just an insane little second he thought she'd grab him and ask him to stay. But she never even looked at him.

**To be continued…**


	14. Chapter 13

**PUSH**

_A Bleach Fanfic_

7/31/10

**Chapter 13**

Summary: Rangiku Matsumoto returns after ten years to find things have changed.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot. The song lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan.  
Author's Note: And its finally done. I'm sorry it took me so long. Things have been really harried lately. My writer's block has been monumental. I hope I did justice to all your support and praise for this story. I'm still not completely satisfied. My 100% is still missing, but something's better than nothing. THanks again and enjoy!

#####

A part of him and hoped he would be late. It hoped Momo would be too vexed to wait and leave him there. The coward wanted her to walk away. Give him an excuse.

But she waited. The praetor was impatient, but Momo had been waiting. Her hair pinned atop her head, the flowers in her hands. She looked beautiful, a tad anxious, but still waiting for him.

Wearing his dusty Captain's garb, unable to explain to the echoes of the murmurs around him, he strode through the guests and came to stand beside her.

Momo Hinamori, lifted concerned brown eyes up to him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he nodded and turned to the praetor. "Please begin."

The woman beside him opened her mouth speak, but then thought better of it as the ceremony began.

He'd always wanted to grow up faster. He wanted people to take him seriously. He wanted them to look past his age and see the man. Now that he was a man, Toushiro Hitsugaya wanted nothing more than to be a child.

When the praetor began reading his lines, he couldn't shake Rangiku's blue eyes out of his mind. They constantly ate at him. Accused him. Humbled him. Broke him. They tore at him until he had spoken before he could stop himself. "Wait."

The chamber went deathly silent. The woman gaped up at him in shock before she let out sharp breath that echoed across the walls. "Oh thank god!"

Startled, Toushiro's head swung around to stare at the visibly relieved woman. "What?"

The brown eyes were glaring. "I've been waiting all week for you to lose your nerve."

A wave of whispers went around them, but Toushiro turned to the woman who held his world in the palm of her hand. "You've been what?"

With a deep breath the petite woman shook her head. "You think I wanted you to marry me out of pity?"

"But I wasn't_"

"Please," she interrupted with a roll of her eyes. "I know you better than you know yourself but let's face it Shiro Chan you're a bit of an idiot sometimes."

Someone was guffawing like a baboon in the background. Toushiro would have thrown something at Kyouraku, but he was too busy gaping at his best friend.

Taking pity on the poor man, Momo sighed and picked up his hand. "You know I was jealous when she came back. I've had you to myself all these years Shiro. I cling to things I love. It's a fault." She smiled softly. "But I'm a coward. I didn't want to say I didn't want to marry you. You've done so much for me I figured the least I could do was stick to you. Then they removed captain Aizen's name and everything went to hell. I realized you didn't want to marry me either."

"Then why come here with me today?"

"Because this was your decision." She shrugged as a matter-of-factly. "I would have gladly married my best friend. I still will if you want. But you don't."

Mouth tilting up into a tell tale smile, Toushiro squeezed her hand. "Thank you Momo."

"Don't thank me. I was too chicken to tell you I was afraid to lose my only friend."

"If u don't marry me, you won't lose a friend."

Her smiled widened, eyes glittering almost like they did when they were children. "But you would have lost something far worse."

"What, but you said..."

"I'm talking about Ran-Chan you midget!"

"I am NOT..."

With a snort, Momo crossed her arms and wrinkled her nose. "To me you will be. Always."

He sighed heavily, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. "I am an idiot."

"Not really, unless you keep standing there."

"Momo…"

Small, soft hands pushed him towards the door as she smiled. "Go before I decide I need you more."

Taking a step back towards her, Captain Hitsugaya kissed her forehead. Then with a wicked grin she'd never seen on the man, he disappeared with a single flash step.

Momo let out a deep breath as she faced her guests. "Show's over folks. Continue on with your lives." As people started to stand and gather their things, Renji came and stood by his friend. "Kinda cutting it close there, aren't ya?"

"I was kinda hoping you had interrupted like I paid you to at 'forever hold your peace'. I would have loved to see him beat you to a bloody pulp."

The redhead snickered. "Ha ha! Too late!"

Turning to him, Momo fixed him with a deliberate glare. "Gimmie my money back."

"Rats." Looking back towards the crowded exit he mumbled, "Maybe he will come back."

"Gimmie my money back you red pineapple head!"

#####

He had half expected to find her snoozing on the couch as always. But Toushiro Hitsugaya was neither that lucky, nor did he deserve the luxury. Wincing he realized there would have to be a lot of groveling. Something he wasn't well-versed in. He didn't know where to begin apologizing to her. He didn't even know where to find her.

"Captain Hitsugaya!"

Looking over his shoulder, he saw a member of his squad running up to him. The woman looked harried.

"What's wrong Faya?"

"I know you told me to find Lieutenant Matsumoto and I went to do exactly that as soon as you told me. I called out o her again and again and she didn't reply at all," the young shinigami began to rant, her eyes wide, breath short. "I checked the barracks; I checked the mess halls, the training rooms, the infirmary_"

"Faya…"

"Then I checked the baths, the_"

"FAYA!"

The woman blinked at his sharp tone and fell silent, her mouth clamping shut with a snap.

Running a hand through his frayed hair, Toushiro realized that finding Matsumoto would take more than his fastest runner. Taking a deep breath, he made a mental note of all the haunts that his errant Lieutenant frequented. But then it had been a while and she hadn't disappeared as much since her return. It irked him that he might not know her as well as he used to when he didn't was younger. Perhaps growing up wasn't all it was cut out to be.

"Faya?"

"Yes Captain!" The woman straightened attentively waiting for her captain's command.

"Send out a butterfly. Find Lieutenant Matsumoto. I don't care if you have to get the entire damned squad out to find her. Contact me immediately if there's any sign of her. Just find her and for hell's sake do not call out to her. You might as well wear a blinking neon sign on your forehead that says 'RUN'!"

"Really? Because I thought…"

"FAYA!" Eyebrow twitching, Toushiro realized if this woman was going to be next in line if Matsumoto left, he had to find her. Now. "Just go!"

Even though the woman had disappeared he couldn't shake the sudden onslaught of nerves. He hoped to hell he found his Lieutenant before his patience ebbed and this time he had no one else to blame but himself. Snapping open his phone he contacted the only person he trusted to help him without an I-told-you-so. Or so he thought. "Joushiro, I need to know where she is."

"I cannot believe that you…"

"Joushiro please!" Gritting his teeth, the youngest captain prayed for patience. "Just help me find her."

There was a resigned sigh on the other end. "Fine, but she will be difficult."

"When is she not? Tell her I want to see her."

"And if she refuses?"

"Tell her I've given all her sake to Momo as a wedding present." Then he hung up before Joushiro could remind him that suicide was forbidden.

#####

If misery had a face, it would have been Rangiku Matsumoto's. The bottle of sake she'd carried up to the roof of her old broken down abode in Rukongai was already gone. Her captain was probably well on his way to his honeymoon. The mere thought of imagining skinny little Momo with her hands all over him made her drink more. She'd even exhausted the secret stash she had hidden away in her old room beneath the rickety floorboards. The two bottles rolled down the edge of the broken roof and smashed into the rubble that had been her home.

She'd thought she'd come to her memories. Perhaps the old pain would chase away the new knife that still twisted in her gut. But no amount of remorse of regret that this old place carried could take her away from the loss of her captain. She had said she was still his Lieutenant. She had said she'd not shirk her duties, but every day for the rest of her life would be like this one. Alone. Hurting and broken.

Laughing crazily she lay back down against the dusty rooftop and stared up at the muddy sky. Sometimes she wished she'd never left these dusty streets when the hardest thing she'd ever had to do was miss a meal. It had been easier.

"Lieutenant, come down from there."

The corner of her mouth tilted up. "Join me Joushiro, I'm celebrating my Captain's nuptials."

The man sighed from below where he was gazing up at her socked feet sticking out from the broken roof. "Please Rangiku, come down."

The feet stirred before a rumpled strawberry blond head appeared over the crack and a pair of liquid blue eyes smiled down at him. "I have sake."

For a moment Joushiro saw it all. The pain. The betrayal. It almost made him want to go back and beat the white haired idiot half to death. It was unfair to put her through this after everything, but a part of him knew the woman as well as he knew Toushiro. Rangiku Matsumoto was a stubborn as her Captain. But for propriety's sake he tried again. "Lieutenant Matsumoto, your Captain is looking for you."

The head disappeared to be replaced by the feet once again. "Fine. I'll celebrate alone."

The silver haired captain took a deep breath and then spoke very clearly and very carefully. "Toushiro's found your stash of sake in his office."

The feet disappeared.

Stepping out of her way, he finished his message. "I believe you should know; he gave it to Hinamori as a wedding present."

There was a breath. Two. Then Joushiro held his robes as the female shinugami streaked past him like a hurricane, her screech lingering in the air. "That son of a…I'll KILL HIM!"

Joushiro almost felt bad for the Squad 10 Captain. Almost.

#####

Toushiro was hearing more bad news. It had been two solid hours and there was no sign of his lieutenant. No one could find her. The woman's spiritual pressure was very carefully concealed. Everyone said, they couldn't sense her. So when he felt the familiar fingers of his Lieutenant's spiritual pressure gathering and strengthening behind him he realized that Joushiro had been successful.

What he didn't expect was turning around to find the point of Haineko at his throat. Icy blue eyes narrowed into venomous slits as the woman faced him with deadly warning. "Draw your sword."

Faya was standing there gaping like a fish. She'd been in the middle of her report when their wayward Lieutenant had marched in. This was the second time she'd seen her Captain challenged by his lieutenant. But to her surprise, this time the young man lifted both his hands rather than look betrayed. In fact, a rather victorious smirk stretched across his handsome face. "Captain."

"Leave us Faya."

She hesitated and Lieutenant Matsumoto snarled, her eyes trained on their captain. "Maybe you should keep her around, you might need help." Faya cast one furtive glance between and stepped out of the Captain's office.

Toushiro lifted an amused eyebrow. "All this for a few cups of sake, Lieutenant Matsumoto?"

"A few cups! I had at least three gallons you stealing, cheating, spineless_"

"Spineless?" Slapping her sword away from his throat he took a step to his right, grinning when she followed him in his neat little circle. "Now that's not very nice."

Haineko was steady and poised for strike. "You can mess with my head! You can break my damned heart, but NO ONE messes with my SAKE!"

Still circling her, he was careful enough to keep safe distance around him as he chuckled. "I'm hurt Matsumoto. You love sake more than me."

"My sake doesn't leave my bed like a thief in the night," she retorted acerbically.

Toushiro Hitsugaya's slow grin it widened, became even more liquid. Almost pleased. "Now that's a low blow. Better be careful, you're implying I'm your underlying problem."

"You're my only problem!" Nearly hissing with mounting fury, Rangiku took a step closer to her unarmed captain. "Draw your sword!"

Teeth glistening in the setting sun, he looked right back into her cat eyes. "You don't really want to fight me."

"I want to take your head off!" This time Toushiro was prepared for her as she pounced on him, all claws and hisses. One careful turn he safely caught the deadly sword flat between his palms before he twisted it out of her reach and sent it spinning away from them.

"Matsumoto, I'm hurt."

The now unarmed woman snorted. "Get used to it." Dropping into quick sweep she kicked his legs out from under him, but she realized her mistake when the clever man pitched forward and fell right on top of her with his full weight.

The air rushed out of her lungs in a whoosh. "OOF!"

His arms were braced on each side of her head and Toushiro allowed her a moment to meet his eyes, her hands pushing insistently on his chest.

"You're heavy!"

"Didn't think so before."

Eyes flickering with the memory Matsumoto twisted hard in his hold and he couldn't help delight in the slight flush on her alabaster skin. "Hmph! I think I liked you better when you were a short little egomaniac. Let go of me!"

But Toushiro had finally caught the women he wasn't in any mood to let her go. "Matsumoto, stop fighting me," he murmured gently, hoping to get through to her.

"No!"

With an exasperated grunt, he swept her hands away from his chest in a quick swipe and caught her flailing wrists firmly. "Fine."

And Rangiku Matsumoto was finally pinned.

His body stretched out over her, hands holding her wrists above her head, Captain Toushiro Hitsugaya had effectively pinned her. As memories and sensations from the night before assaulted her in full force Rangiku shrieked. "Get off me!" The weight of him was so familiar and her fickle body was melting and molding to his despite her fury. She wanted to be angry at him. She wanted to bruise him like he'd bruised her heart when he left. But he held her immobile.

"You're being obstinate."

"I've been robbed!" She retorted with a glare. "What do you expect? Give me back my sake!"

Brow wrinkling at her one track mind Toushiro sighed. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. I didn't…"

"Don't you dare think you can muscle your way out of this!" She bucked beneath him, trying to dislodge his weight someway so she could find an opening. "How DARE you desecrate my secret stash!"

A snow eyebrow arched, his mouth twisted into a half smile. "Desecrate? Hell woman, you make it sound like a holy temple."

"It was my temple! And you gave it to that doe-eyed floozy!"

Biting down on the insane need to chuckle, Toushiro fixed her with a teasing grin, fingers tightening around the wriggling woman. He would have to tell her later how much he enjoyed it, perhaps at a time when she wasn't prone to do bodily damage to him. "Careful Matsumoto, that floozy could have been my wife."

"I swear Captain, if you don't get my secret stash back, I will_"

The man let out a defeated sigh, switched both her wrists into one hand and clamped the other over her runaway mouth. "Why is that I'm always caught between the decision to either strangle you or eat you?"

The ice blue eyes widened marginally and instantly her wriggling ceased.

His grin nearly had Hyourinmaru's fangs. "Eat you it is."

Rangiku only had enough time to snatch in a lungful of air his mouth came crashing down and was buried against hers unceremoniously. She had a feeling that it was more to shut her up rather than derive any pleasure. What did surprise her was her own reaction to the feel of his soft firm lips against her own.

With his fist still wrapped around two delicate wrists Rangiku was caught in the sheer intensity that sparked where his lips met hers and she was lost.

Eyes falling closed, fury shot to hell and her defenses crumbling into a sickening little wet puddle, Rangiku surrendered. Suddenly she the raging hurricane that had stormed into his office but instead she was all about lips, teeth and tongue and fiery nerve endings that recognized him.

Eventually it was that surrender in the decisive way her lips parted for his questing tongue that prompted the Captain above her to gentle his mouth in an attempt to pull away, but Rangiku turned the tables.

One wrist pulled out of his fist, fingers curled into the snowy hair and her mouth slanted under him.

Toushiro's body rolled with a guttural moan when Shurooq's mouth opened to taste him deeper, her lips molding to his, teeth scratching lightly over his bottom lip. Snatches of breath did nothing to cool the sudden flare of heat between them, her hips struggling to move under him. To roll up against him. Hand against his nape, refusing to release him. But he wouldn't dare move. Even in the haze of searing desire coursing through his veins, Toushrio knew not to allow any little control, but the woman underneath him had channeled her explosive anger into the seductive heat of her passion and Toushiro was drowning.

Very slowly and painfully.

Eventually it was Rangiku's fingers that gently pulled on his hair, breaking the connection of their mouths, gasping for air; his pupils dilated and his chest heaving. He stared into her hazily then realization dawned on him. The woman underneath him was crying and despite his age and his height he suddenly found himself lost. "Rangiku," he whispered against her trembling lips, over her cheeks, tasting her tears, kissing them away.

"Don't," her whisper was wounded. "You belong to someone else."

Smiling against her brow Toushiro lifted himself away far enough so he could meet her eyes. "Captain Toushiro Hitsugaya, Master of Hyourinmaru belongs to no one." Dropping a kiss to her fluttering eyelids, he sighed. "But I want to belong to you."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I love you. Why else would I torture myself by being around you all the time?" Then he took pity on the woman. "I didn't marry Momo."

Her lips parted in surprise and Toushiro had to bit down the urge to taste her again. "Matsumoto, I loved you when you left me. I loved you when you were away and I find myself in love with you in tormenting different ways still! One lifetime might not be enough to survive you I'm afraid."

"Really?"

"Truly."

She was silent for a few breaths. "Captain?"

"Yes Lieutenant?"

The blue flickered with a hint of hope. "Was that a proposal?"

"I…well…I suppose it was."

"My my, Captain." Sniffling, she offered him a watery, but decidedly teasing smile. "What kind of woman do you think I am? Proposing to me like this on the floor. And no ring?"

The man who had been in complete control suddenly floundered, flushing with embarrassment before he rolled off her, fumbling into his pockets as he climbed to his feet. "I swear I have it here somewhere." The sight of the confused, blushing man was so poignantly familiar, Rangiku decided the ring could wait as she swept Haineko off the floor and rose.

Toushiro was fishing into his robes when he heard Rangiku's purr. "Growl, Haineko."

Head jerking up, he watched in horror as her blade disappeared into fine mist and slipped underneath the lawyers of his robes. "What the hell!"

Matsumoto's smirk was wicked. "Let me help you."

It was then that Toushiro realized just how much control his Lieutenant possessed on her Ashcat as every binding that held his robes together snapped. He was barely in time to catch the cascade of clothes around his hips as they fell away. Hands bunched into the black and white remains of his clothes he stared at her in shock. "Rangiku! Are you_"

Her hands smoothed over his chest and his voice died in his throat. Her eyes flickering a shade darker, Rangiku slid her arms around his neck. "You left me there alone; you told me you wouldn't return. You broke my heart, nearly married another woman and you had the audacity to lie about stealing my secret stash of sake. Now shut up and take it like a man."

Caught between hilarity, embarrassment and happiness, Toushiro battled whether he should hold his remaining dignity or the woman wrapped around him; her eyes promising everything he'd ever wanted. His fingers flexed in the folds of his clothes; the proper Captain in him hoping to remind him where they were, but Toushiro didn't care. He was ready to enjoy her punishment.

Although, had one question. He couldn't help himself. "Matsumoto?"

"Yes my Captain?"

"Three gallons?"

The woman's paused in her conquest and offered him a sheepish smile. "Eh heheh. Um…I was bluffing."

Those aqua eyes narrowed on his Lieutenant. "I don't believe you. Where is it?"

"Where's what?"

"The damned mother lode Rangiku, where is it? You know you're not supposed to_"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." One hand sliding into his downy soft hair, Rangiku nuzzled his ear gently as the other wrapped around the fist holding his robs loosely around his waist. "Honestly Captain, perhaps you're going senile." Then she shook his fist loose and pushes him towards the couch.

"MATSUMOTO!"

THE END


End file.
